Sunday, March 30, 2008

More Trials

Early Thursday morning robb and i went to Zeeland E.R. b/c i was having trouble breathing and also had very swollen legs, ankles and feet.



Isn't that pretty?!? Sausage toes!

I had very high blood pressure when i got there and also a very high creatnine (sp?) level, which measures how much toxins are in the blood. Normally it should be a 0 .8 - 1.2 level and mine was a 12. That means that my kidneys are not working well at all. So I was transferred by ambulance to Spectrum Health where i was admitted to the critical care unit.
Since then, i have had a kidney biopsy(which was a needle in my back that took a small piece of tissue from my kidney to examine) to determine the cause of the problem, those results were sent to Mayo Clinic and we are hoping that they will be back by the middle of this week. I also had a port the size of an ink pen inserted into the main artery in my neck. They use that for the kidney dialysis which is hooked up to that port and flushes out the toxins that my kidneys are not doing on its own. That is helping the creatnine level and my blood pressure go down. I will have dialysis every mon, wed, and fri, for 3 hours until that level is down to where it should be. Friday before the dialysis it was 13.6 and now today it is 7.8. Better but still way high. i also had another blood transfusion on Friday. What a day.
So now, I am just sitting here at the hospital waiting for results. Drs have 3 different ideas as to what it is: 1) acute kidney failure, very treatable and temporary, caused by stress, shock, loss of blood, and pregnancy all which i had. 2) A very bad flare up of a kidney problem i had in high school that we thought cleared up or 3) post pregnancy pre-eclampsia/toxemia. So I will keep everyone updated. In the meantime i would appreciate any prayers! Hopefully I can move out of the ICU and get away from all the 80 year olds soon!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

These words say it best

These are the lyrics to the song "Glory Baby" by Watermark.

Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you…

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would…

BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

I love to hear it and and be reminded that Brenham is in Heaven, being held by Jesus and that Heaven will be his home forever. Even though we so badly want him home with us, we are so comforted by the fact that Heaven is all he will ever know. He never had to suffer, never had to deal with the pains of this world.

***We cant wait to hold you again someday Brenham!**Love, Mommy and Daddy

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Where was God in all of this?

Where was God in all of this? I will tell you. God is a good God and he does take care of us. We have seen His hands at work even in this tough time.

Ways we have seen God:
-God chose Brenham's birthday to be February 29, a day that only comes around every 4 years because He knows how hard that day would be for us every year.

-God gave us Brenham's name the night before he was born. After months of debate and hours of searching. Coincidence? I dont think so!

-God allowed Robb to feel Brenham give a nice, hard kick just the night before. And for that we will be forever grateful for that amazing experience.

-God made sure that we were in town that weekend. The two weekends prior and the weekend after we would have been out of town. On top of that, Robb and my dad had just come home from a convention in Georgia on the 27th. Good timing God!

-God kept me strong during my blood transfusion the following week. I hate hospitals and i hate blood, but God gave me peace and it went just fine! Praise God!

-God gave us loving, supportive families that are awesome. They were there for whatever we needed them for. Family is my rock!

-God will continue to be with us through all of this. We know He loves us and has a great plan for our lives:
Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God Bless-
Katie

Monday, March 24, 2008

The day that changed my life forever..

It was February 29, leap year day, 2008. I was 21 weeks 4 days pregnant with our first baby, due July 7, 2008. Everything was going great other that the typical morning sickness and a few other normal wintertime illnesses. We were so excited, the names had just been decided on, the crib ordered, and paint for the nursery picked out. We just had the ultrasound two weeks prior and everything looked great. The little peanut had just said "hi" to daddy with a nice kick the night before! I was finally starting to relax and enjoy the pregnancy, when one day that all changed.

I was working my second job at a retail store only instead of working on the floor i was watching the owner's little boy (who i love) until my normal shift was to start. It was around 2:00 and Will was just finishing up his lunch when i started feeling a little funny. It wasnt until 2:30 when the pain in my stomach was getting worse that i called my doctor. Thinking it was probably just something i ate or maybe braxton hicks, i didnt know what to think when he told me it sounded like i was in labor and to "be prepared". Robb picked me up and we headed to the hospital. On the way there the pain was unbearable and then i too thought "yup, this must be labor". We prayed the whole way there and called our parents and told them to pray.

When i got to the hospital i was hooked up to the monitors and sure enough i was contracting like crazy. My doctor got there within 20 minutes and checked me right away. Then he sat down in the chair next to us, put his hand on my leg and said, "Okay, Katie, you are completely dilated, you are going to have this baby today" i can still hear it. Robb immediately started to cry and i just closed my eyes and wished it away. I was shaking uncontrollably. The nurses started a fluid I.V. with much trouble and lots of bruises later they finally got it started.

My water broke and i started bleeding like crazy. The nurses and doctor started to panic a little and i quickly received a spinal block and had to start pushing. I had no idea what to do. I hadnt taken the classes or read that far in the book yet but after only 5 pushes at 5:15 pm, our son Brenham Jay was born. He was feet first and Robb was great through the whole thing. He even told me "it's a boy" just like I always dreamed of. The doctor cut his cord and the nurse whisked him away while the doctor scraped away at my insides. What had happened was my placenta came detached from the uterus wall and that caused the preterm labor. Along with a weak cervix there was nothing that could have been done.

Brenham lived for 3 minutes and when the nurse brought him back for us to hold he was already gone. We held him for as long as we wanted. He was perfect. He had my lips and nose and everything else was ALL Robb, lucky baby!! He was 13.4 oz and 10.5 inches long. Our family came up to hold him and cry with us. They were great. We had to make the funeral arrangments the next day. We picked out his casket the day we were supposed to be picking out bath tubs and bouncy seats.

The service was great we played this slide show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaUDEozHkCI and there were tears streaming down everyones faces. Robb carried Brenham out of the chapel and we placed him in the grave. We each placed a shovel full of dirt over the casket. Something no parent should ever have to go through. You expect your grandparents to die but not your baby. We are crushed. And miss him so much. I guess that kick Robb felt the night before that we thought was a "hello" was actually a "good-bye". Please pray!

Katie