Friday, February 27, 2009

you know you're a grieving mother when...

*(thanks for this idea Nicole, its cheap therapy.)*


You know you're a grieving mother when...

~you go to carters and pick out an outfit that your son would have worn for his first birthday party and for a moment actually consider buying it because he just would have looked so handsome in it.

~when you call the bakery back after you get home from ordering your dead son's birthday cake to change your cake order from white cake to chocolate cake just so you can picture him getting filthy while he self-fed himself, sportin' only a diaper, sitting in his highchair and cry after you hang up with the baker.

~when your mind is so lost in the pain that you run your cell phone thru the washing machine, mis-place your wallet, mis-place an important document, forget to wear your coat to lunch (in the 20 degree weather) with a friend and cut a slice out of the cake she brought for your son before you remembered to take a picture of it, and they all make you want to burst into tears

~when your husband turns the light off while you are in the shower, your heart instantly skips a beat and your first thought isn't "oh robb turned the light off" but rather "this is IT!! Jesus has come back for us" (not sure why, but that was my reaction) and then in that same second your heart sinks to realize that nope, robb just turned the light off. But that is how bad you want to see your son again and be with Jesus for all eternity.

~when one day this week your lunch consisted of a cookie, brownie, milky way bar and glass of milk and when your husband does the same thing another day only has an orange soda instead of the milk and you scold him for having WAY to much sugar.

~Whenever you randomly glance at the clock at 5:15 pm you stand still until it reads 5:18 pm and wonder what was going through your son's mind when he slipped away during those 3 minutes.

~When never have so many tears fallen onto the keyboard as you read all of the 68 and counting sweet comments written by mostly strangers to remember your son on what would have been his first birthday.

~When a bunch of strangers in blog land can become your best friends when they pray and encourage you through your life's darkest moments and at the end of the day you feel so very blessed for life's tiny treasures.

Monday, February 23, 2009

sending our love

In honor of Brenham's first birthday Robb and I will be launching a single balloon on Saturday at the cemetery where Brenham is buried. Attached to the balloon will be messages written to Brenham from the both of us and our families. We would love for all of you who have grown to love Brenham as we have throughout this past year to celebrate his Heaven going with us by writing a message in the comment section of this post to be included in the launch. If you have never commented before, please let this be the one time you try it out. I will treasure these messages for as long as I live.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for walking through this past year with us, for your prayers and support. We have been blessed.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Flashback Friday

I wanted to join in with Laurie in her Flashback Friday game, even though this picture isn't that old i thought it was kinda fitting.
This picture is from Sept. '08 ~ the last time we were in bathing suits for the summer




This picture is from Feb. 16, the most recent time we were in bathing suits.

notice anything different about me?!?!?

Few From Florida

Welcome to Orlando!
we flew in on saturday, feb. 14 around 3:30
We had our Valentine's dinner at Giordano's Chicago style pizza (love you babe!)
Sunday, the guys went to the Daytona race and the girls shopped. It was mid 50's and really cloudy.
The rest of the weekdays were spent with the guys at their meetings and the girls by the pool!
Robb came to visit us by the pool during their breaks!
Robb and I spent the afternoon on Monday at Epcot. We had a great time riding the rides and walking around the world!
One of the rides we went on was a race car test track and at the end we went through a car show exhibit.
Tuesday night we had a family dinner at TGIFriday's and spent the evening walking around Downtown Disney. Robb and I and Kyle and Mindy saw a Cirque De Soiole show too!


We made a couple trips to the Panera Bread so the girls could all use the internet for little while.

Wednesday night, Robb and I met up with his cousins Scott and Stacey who were also vacationing in FL. We had a great time having dinner and playing mini golf (until I bounced Stacey's ball into a parking lot..still not sure how that happened!)



We left for home around 10:00 am on Thursday.
We had a great time. It was so nice to get away for a few days, take our minds off of everyting going on, and enjoy the Florida warmth.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Wordless Wednesday


Friday, February 13, 2009

Randoms for the Weekend

1. I've been having so much fun opening the packages of hats and blankets that have come in so far, thank you!
2. If you have been following me on Twitter or have access to my adoption blog you will have already seen this but for those of you who missed it here is what we have been up to lately. What do you think?
3. I apologize for the lack of updates for the rest of you on the adoption front, but basically it's because there hasnt really been much to report, we are still waiting to be matched.
4. The wait has been harder than I was expecting so we would appreciate your prayers for patience.
5. We leave for Florida tomorrow! We will be in Orlando with my family until Thurs next week, the guys have a work conference there.
6. Not sure if there will be internet available so I might be taking a bloggy break for a bit, we'll see.
7. We have decided to celebrate Brenham's birthday on BOTH days, the plans aren't definite but I am thinking of doing a balloon release with our family on the 28th and we are also dropping off the goodies to the hospital and on the 1st Robb and I will just spend the day together remembering Brenham on his "official" birthday.
8. Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Brenham Love~

Last year on February 11 Daddy and I went to the doctor for my 18 week check-up. It was a day we were looking forward to SO much! We got to see you on the ultrasound screen for the first time!

We saw all the chambers of your heart, your brain , all your limbs and other organs, the doctor said you looked great! He didn't tell us if you were a boy or a girl, because we wanted to be surprised but mommy had a feeling you were a boy. You looked so cute moving around like crazy. It was so much fun to see you so active, we were glad you werent sleeping the whole time. but it worried us because we wondered if maybe you would be a hand full during your toddler years! The doctor even asked mommy and daddy if we were swimmers because you looked like a little frog swimming around. He also said you had really long legs, just like me. The doctor printed off lots of pictures for us to show off to our families and friends.
I am so glad we got that one and only chance to see you so alive and active, we miss you so much buddy. We hope you know how much we love and miss you everyday, but we are so thankful that you are happy in heaven playing with Jesus. Maybe you are even hand-picking yourself a new baby brother or sister! Love you lots baby boy.
~Mommy

Monday, February 9, 2009

All too familiar story





~The story is familiar, the message is powerful, the song is moving. I hope you were touched by this as much as I was~

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Weekend Recap


Robb and I had such a fun weekend together, we didnt do anything extraordinary but we just enjoyed doing the little things together.
Friday night we ordered Logan's Roadhouse take out and brought it home to eat in front of the tv and watched the Fireproof movie on DVD.




The rest of the night we spent working on hats, for Brenham's Hat project. I'm making progress on the crocheting thanks to Nancy! And also have had lots of success with the knitting looms.





Saturday we spent the morning and all afternoon cleaning, doing laundry and organizing. We also made our favorite cookies together, they were no -bake cookies, I am a horrible baker.


Saturday night we went to Robb's parents house to watch their cable tv channels, :) I watched enough Jon and Kate plus 8 episodes to keep me happy for awhile!


Sunday we went to church and spent the afternoon snowmobiling. We had a blast! I took a few pictures but most of the time my hands were gripped firmly on the wonderful handle warmers.



And we can't forget about Chill.





Why did the possum cross the road???



So he could get his pretty picture taken!


We got inside, made some hot cocoa (with lots of marshmallows) and sat down for one of our traditional connect four tournaments, robb won!

At night, of course, we watched the Super Bowl with my family, we'll actually the girls ended up working out on their Wii Fit while the guys watched the game.

It was sad to go back to everyday life on Monday but I am so thankful to have spent so much time with Robb this weekend, we are trying to make the most out of the time we have left just the two of us.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Brenham's Hat Project

Help me spread the word!
(Grab this button off my sidebar)

Patrice made this button to help get the word out about Brenham's hat Project!

If you wouldn't mind, I would love for you to post the code in your own blogs so that when people click it they will be sent right to my post about the project and they can help out if they can. Thanks Patrice and thanks bloggers for helping me spread the word!

Serious.Life Magazine

Hello All~
I wanted you to know about this publication I’m a part of called Serious.Life Magazine.
Serious.Life Magazine

They just published the February issue today, and I am in their Featured Blog Directory on page 123!

The magazine includes a lot of great content from bloggers you’ll appreciate, as well as great features, photos and other content. The magazine is owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and little Abby has Leukemia. The magazine gives away a bunch of ads to charities and ministries. Besides great articles on interesting people, there is a lot about family, adoption, personal finance, spiritual life, humor… all sorts of “life” topics.

The subscription is free, so take a minute to check it out and sign up here to get future issues.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Meet Chill

updated below*

~the snowman~
the snow was perfect for snowman making today, so we took a break during our snowmobile ride to make 'Chill' in one of our country neighbors back field, hope you enjoy :).
We had to be resourceful and used our own scarf and hat, a rock for his nose, brier plant things for his buttons and the first person to guess what we used for his eyes gets 200 w.h.m.g. points!! he has arms too, but they kind of blend in with the trees.
So, any guesses to what Chill's eyes are made from?
*updadte*
wow! either that was too easy, or you guys are good!...yes that is bunny poo. robb did it, not I :)
Congrats Rebekah, you were the first one, you get 200 w.h.m.g points AND your prize is already on its way!