questions?

Monday, June 20, 2011

there's been lots of questions floating around here lately and most of the time i don't get the chance to answer them if you don't have an email address attached to your blogger account or if you comment as anonymous. so today I'm going to devote this post to answer your questions, just leave me your question in the comments section and I'll answer them there too.

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55 Responses to “questions?”

Kate said...

@Anonymous asked what nationality is Sadler?

~this one's been asked alot so i'll start off with that one!

we did domestic adoption, meaning Sadler was born in the U.S. so his nationality is American.

Kate said...

the second most common question is how we came up with Sadler's name?

there's really no great story behind his name, i saw it online a long time ago when we were searching for a name for grayden and robb and i both still loved it for this little guy. i've heard it a few times as a last name as well, Elliot Sadler (nascar driver) and Catt Sadler (E! entertainment). we just thought it was cute and loved it with the middle name graham (pronunced gram) which like i said before is a combo of GRAyden and BrenHAM's names.

Anonymous said...

Kate -
I have a question! (Great idea by the way!)

Grayden is such a good talker for his age, and can count and say his ABC's which is so cute! How have you worked with him to get him to talk so well? Any special tricks?

Anonymous said...

This is a great idea.

Sadler is obviously darker then you,Robb and Gray. So with that said.. what is his natural bio background?

He looks quite big for his age. I think you are gonna have a big boy on your hands:)

Anonymous said...

Is Sadler bi racial? African American? Hispanic? He is a beautiful baby. You are so blessed!

Kate said...

i really can't take any credit for his awesome vocabuary. i think he's just really smart, must be the genes ;)
We did sing the abc's to him a lot as a baby i remember (not sure why). the only other thing I could say that maybe might have contributed to this is we talk to him like a big boy (vs baby talk) for the past year and half i'd guess...sorry i'm not much help.
also i do have to add that its a blessing and a curse at times :) he repeats EVERYTHING and talks non-stop! oh and the questions can drive me batty! but i sure do love him!

Kate said...

@anon 2:57
funny you mention that, he's actually such a little peanut! much smaller than gray at this age (and gray's on the small side for his age too) he must look bigger in pictures! we go to the pedi tomorrow so i'm curious to see his growth!

Kate said...

@anon 2:57/2:59
he is bi-racial african american and caucasian! thank you; we ARE very blessed!
i'm thinking of doing a post on being a trans-racial family in the future sometime if your intersted in that more.

Anonymous said...

Was it hard decision to decide on adopting a bi racial child? Just because he can of what people might think? how it can change your family? (meaning he can grow up someday to marry an african american) and so on. I am not nosey.. just very curious. I think you are a very brave women for everything you have been thru.

Anonymous said...

Kate

I have been a follower for quite sometime and just wanted to say as a African American woman, I think you and ROB are AMAZING for not allowing race to stop you from making Sadler your forever son. What are you most nervous about raising an African American son? Have you thought about how you will teach and celebrate his culture/heritage? I am sure as he grows up you will learn to see the world very different but I think that will enrich your life in more ways then you can even understand. Love truly does cross all boundaries.

Kate said...

@anon 3:30
was it hard to decide to adopt a biracial child?
not really, we decided we were open to adopt a child of any race early on in our adoption process. partially b/c we knew we could potenially have a long wait to adopt a second child espcially if we had preferences on race. and mostly b/c we knew we would love any child of God's know matter what the color of his skin. We trusted God would not give us more than we could handle and if he had a child of another race in His plan for our family than we would be given the wisdom and guidence to raise him!
how will it change our family?
i always thought our family needed a little diversity ;) for the past few years i'd always picture our yearly christmas card photo to include a little color ;) he can marry whichever lucky ladyof any color he chooses and the only important thing to us be that she loves God the way he will!
i know being a trans-racial family will come with its share of challenges they same way being an adoptive family will but like i said before, God will guide us through the toughest of times!
i hope that answers your questions, let me know if not!

Anonymous said...

When will you tell your boys they are adopted? and will you ever try to become pregnant?

Kate said...

time to start dinner and then i have a couple hair clients, i'll be back answering questions later tonight during the commercial breaks of the bachelorette ;)

m&msmommy said...

I apologize if you've already answered this in your blog posts (I do read often, but might have missed something)...do you have an open adoption with Sadlers birth family? I know there were some hurdles in his adoption finalization, so my thoughts would be no, it's a closed adoption, but I wasn't sure. I believe you have an open one with Graydens family, so do have any advice or thoughts on open vs. closed (if in fact Sadlers is closed).

You and your husband are amazing! :)

Anonymous said...

Kate, I came across your blog and was drawn to your story because God has also chosen to grow our family through adoption. We are currently waiting on God to bring our second child. We are a caucasian couple with a causasian son and are open to any race. I would love to read a future post on having a trans-racial family from your perspective. Blessings on your sweet family!

Anonymous said...

Katie.. your children are so blessed. And Grayden does resemble Robb!
Will you try to become pregnant someday?

Ker said...

Katie he is adorable! So happy to see your little family has grown! Are you thinking of expanding your family further in the future? Did you get to request a gender with either Gray or Sadler?

Anonymous said...

will you ever try to be prgnant again?i know that this must be a scary thing for you! iknow i would be.prayer are with you!

Anonymous said...

Just wondering if you have an open or closed adoption with both Grayden and Sadler birth parents? And why y'all decided to choose that option.

Anonymous said...

Great idea with the questions. Did your family and Robb's family agree with your decision?

Will the boys know their bio parents?

♥Sarah♥ said...

I have been following for some time and am expecting our first child this November.

Did you and Robb go with open adoptions or closed?

Do you plan to tell both your boys that they where adopted?

And how would you feel if in the future they sought out their biological parents?

Alicia said...

How do you pronounce Sadler? Is it SAY-dler or SAD-ler? I've never heard it before, so I have no frame of reference.

He is so adorable by the way!

Might as well, can't dance... said...

Congrats on your precious family! I read today that Ashley (bachelorette) is atheist. If this is true, I'm not sure I can contine to watch. Will you?
Blessings to you and your sweet family!

jodimichelle said...

This is so fun :) I love hearing more about your family, no matter the question or topic. I definitely want to know more about this house you're building ... ;)

When will it be done? Who's building it? How did you decide on the plans? Anything special (for me I always wanted a bonus space above a garage)?

And are there more than 3 bedrooms ;) haha.

Lori said...

Hey Kate!
I've been following your blog for a while and you always look so cute. Your outfits and hair always look great! Where do you shop for clothes?

Kate said...

i'm back!
ok so i'll start with the popular one: more kids;
its hard to say for sure since sadler is only 2 months old so dont hold me to this but i think that sadler has completed our family! we have been so blessed by adoption but it is HARD stuff...
@anon 3:51
What are you most nervous about raising an African American son?
at this point i'm most nervous about his acceptance in our small, non-diverse community. mostly our experice thus far has been very positive but there have been a few situations that have left me a little disappointed.
@alicia its pronounced SAD-ler (which we never shorten to Sad, by the way, i now remember someone asking that before)
@Lori! thank you! I love to shop! You'll have to go check out some of my fashion friday posts i did last summer, I always referenced where i shopped in thos posts. i love tjmaxx, target and old navy! i'd say those are my top three!

Kate said...

ok this is another popular one! we have an open adoption with grayden's birth mom and birth dad, I send them pictures and updates every couple of months and we've had visits with them each seperatly a handful of times.
with sadler we have an open adoption with his birth mom, at this point its hard to tell exactly what that will mean in terms of contact. we haven't seen her yet since his birth but we do hope to. I've sent letters and pictures twice so far. we hope to deepen our relationship over time.
our agency strongly recomends adoption, we feel its very important for our boys to know about there birth families and know their adoption stories and background. it has worked out really well for us, its hard at times but so worth it!

@anon 3:56
we already talk about it to grayden and have since the day he's been born. but we think we'll wait to tell sader until he's out of hight school, ha! JUST KIDDING! We talk about it in everyday conversation and in our prayers when we pray for there birth families, it seems so soap-opera-sih to sit them down at x years old and then tell them they are adopted!

Lori said...

I just wanted to tell you I think you have such a beautiful heart, and spirit! I have never met you but I can tell that you are such a Godly woman. That is an inspiration to me. As a new Mother I struggle with getting frustrated when I have lost sleep, and my poor hubby usually is the one who I lose my patience with. How do you stay so tenderhearted/is there ever a time when you lose some patience. I feel like such a bad wife at those times and I'm apologizing 2 seconds later!!

I too am watching Bachelorette! So curious to see if Bentley's back :/

Risa said...

Congrats on Sadler's adoption -- he's such a cutie pie, just like Grayden! I must say as a mom of two biracial kiddos, it made my heart smile to see Sadler join your family! Try not to be toooo jealous of that gorgeous skin tone :) How is Sadler's reflux? we had a huge struggle with reflux with Ethan, so if you need any tips on how we got it under control feel free to let me know.

Kate said...

@Ker Did you get to request a gender with either Gray or Sadler?
good question!
we did have the option to specify gender with our adoption agency however we chose not to. God knew what our family needed and we wanted to leave it in HIS hands! we wouldn't have been able to decide boy or girl even if we wanted to, such a huge decision to make as a couple!
@ anon 6:11 Did your family and Robb's family agree with your decision? our families have both been very supportive of adoption.
@sarah And how would you feel if in the future they sought out their biological parents?
great question! they will def. always have that option and it would be very easy for them to do so. I dont think i would be bothered much by it since we do have open adoptions and thats the whole idea of open adoption, to have a realtionship with their birth families.

Kate said...

@ might as well..can't dance
i have not heard that! while it would change my opinion of her greatly (although i'm not a big fan of hers in the first place) i have to be honest and say i would still watch, just to see how it all plays out. i pray thats not true...so sad if she is!
@jodimichelle! thanks for all the fun questions about the house!
When will it be done? Mid november at this point! can.not.wait! Who's building it? J&j concepts from hudsonville How did you decide on the plans? it was hard, we combined all our wants and needs and the builder would draw them up and we'd adjust from there. its hard b/c its all custom and really have no sense of what it will be like to actaully "be" in the house, i know the print like the back of my hand, but i'm anxious to get a real 'feel' for it! Anything special (for me I always wanted a bonus space above a garage)? we do have a bonus room which will be above the full size of our 3 stall garage all PLAY ROOM! and that is the one thing about the house i am most excited about if i had to pick just one! and i'm super jazzed about our walk in tile shower!
3 bedrooms on the main floor and 1 more in the lower level ;)

~Katie said...

I am an adoptive mom to a 2 year old little girl.We have an open adoption with her birth mom as well. I hear ALL THE TIME that she looks just likee me, and always try to inform people that she is adopted as I feel that is her life story and I don't want to "lie" to her. Gray looks alot like Robb too. Do you all get the "he looks like you" comment and how do you handle them?

Kate said...

@ risa! thank you! i am super jealous of his skin! sadlers reflux is much better! in fact he's off his meds! we took him to a chiropractor who specializes in infants and within 3 weeks he was off the znatac and doing super!! its amazing!
@lori! thank you for your kind words, i DO loose my patience; more often than i like to admit! dont be so hard on yourself, you are a great wife and mom to savannah! losing your patience is only natural, raising kids is the hardest and most important thing we'll ever do. give yourself some credit! and pray everyday for more of it!

Kate said...

@katie congrats on your little girl! we dont hear it in public to much but if we do it kinda depends on the situation. most times its in passing like at the grocery store or something so then i just say "thans, he sure is cute!" if its someone who well talk to for a length of time then I share that he's adopted! make sense?

Anonymous said...

Did you and Rob take a photo of Sadler with your hands placed on his chest like the ones of Brenham and Grayden on your blog sidebar? I think they are precious.

Kate said...

@anon 8:53 yes, we sure did! i have to get it sent over to patrice, my awesome blog lady so she can add it to the sidebar!

Fleur de Lips said...

Kate,
You guys are such a cute couple! How did you meet your husband?

Thanks!

Mrs. Smith said...

Kate,
You and Rob are such a cute couple! How did you meet?

Thanks!

Mrs. Smith said...

Sorry about the repeat question about how you met - I thought my login wasn't working so I tried my other one :)

Where did you get the 'you're no match for my dad' t-shirt? I love it!

Thanks

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your newest addition. He's absolutely precious and a perfect addition to your family. I'm wondering about the financial aspect of adoption. Adoption is definitely a possibility as so far we haven't been able to conceive. We are like a lot of people who live comfortably but definitely on a budget. Is there financial assistance available?

Amy said...

I work in a hospital w/an awesome transplant unit and have SO much respect for what you've gone through. What were the most challenging aspects during that time in your life? Any advice for patients awaiting a transplant?

Love your blog and your beautiful family - congrats on your recent addition!

Kate said...

robb and i met on a mission trip to west viginia with the church we still go to today, it was my first year going to a new youth group and the mission trip was the first outing they had so i wanted to go and make new friends and lucky me met my hubby too (i was 15, he was 17) awe!
the shirt is from old navy! i have for for sadler too, but he's too tiny yet! robb was a tennis star in high school so it was just perfect for him!

Elma said...

Congratulations again on your beautiful son!! Will you be sharing pictures and tips and other interesting things on building your new home?? Thanks so much for sharing:)

Tammy said...

What's your favorite baby gizmo? Has it changed from G to S? With my first it was the swing, we were so sad when he outgrew it. With my daughter (who screamed bloody murder in the swing) it was the baby bjorn.

Tina said...

I love your blog and your story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats.

I have a almost 15 yr old
13 month daughter in heaven
then adopted 1/2 white 1/2 black girl at birth
then surprise baby girl alomst 2 yrs ago

so I have MANY things in common with you


TIna

Anonymous said...

People think Gray resembles his dad. Do you?

Anonymous said...

What do you tell Grayden when you visit Brenham?

Kate said...

@anon 9:23 financing adoption: the biggest help is the state and federal tax credit! there are also some grants you could apply for, i dont have much info on that but i know they are out there! it is expensive but worth every penny! dont let the cost stop you, you will be amazed at how God will provide for you!
@amy the hardeds part of waiting for my tx was the dialysis, that sucked so much..i HATED it! honestly at times i thought i'd rather die than go through that, i know that sounds horrible! as far as encouragement for your patients tell them that they will feel SO good once that blessed day comes and they have a transplant! I couldn't even remember what it felt like to feel good anymore after being so so long and it was so so good to have 'me' back! the best feeling!
@elma yes! i plan to blog lots about the house and its progress I gotta do that soon!
@tammy, my fave thing for gray was the miracle blanket! he LOVED to be swaddled and that one stayed on him all night long and he'd sleep like a champ in it!
with sadler my saving grace has been my baby carriers, the moby wrap and the hotsling, that boy loves to be held by his momma and the only way i can get things done is if i'm wearing him!
@tina, wow, so happy for your growing family!
@anon 2:03, that is a great question, i honestly dont see the resemblence between grayden and robb but i do think they are both cute! however i do some similarities between brenham and grayden so thats kinda cool!
@anon 5:51
another good question, right now we tell him that we're going to see his big brother brenham's grave site and that brenham lives in heaven with Jesus. just the other day grayden saw the pic of brenham on my sidebar and said "brenham with Jesus" so cute!

Kate said...

@amy that should say 'sick' so long, not so so long :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the addition of Sadler to your family. I am Caucasian and my nephews are bi-racial. I love, love, love that my children are growing up with this diversity in their family. I love that they are growing up with love for all people, no matter the color. Good luck to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Do you think you will have a biological child in the future?

Kate said...

@anon 7:29 no, like i've said before pregnancy would be really dangerous (to the baby, to Paco and to me) due to the medications I currently take as well as the complications with my past pregnancy.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we have 3 children (bi-racial) and I am amazed at how dark Sadler is. He is so precious. Congrats on the adoption. We live in Louisiana and multi-racial families are pretty common here, I am so thankful to say nothing has ever been said to my family of my kids about their race. I pray the same for you.

Jennifer

B's Mom said...

My brother and sister are Asian. To be honest, it's not something I even think about. I'm sure people wondered when they saw us all together as children. There were six kids-- four were blond and two were asian. It's really a non-issue, and I'm kind of surprised at how many questions you got about it.

Nicole said...

Katie, this is really more of a comment, not a question. I just wanted to say that you and Rob are really special people. I am white, my husband is Black/Italian (his terms) and we have two biracial children. In my experience, I have come across a few rude, ignorant people in my time as a wife and mother but I don't let it bother me. I don't feel like those people or their opinions are worth my time. You love your family fiercly and keep moving. I wish you all the best! If you ever need to talk or anything, I am here (along with all your other wonderful supporters/blog followers). Your family is absolutely beautiful and 100% yours :)

God Bless!

Nicole