Grayden is sound asleep in his crib right now, exhausted from a fun day at the park with his friends, (although he spent more time eating under the canopy to escape from the rain than actually playing!) and I sit here in our overstuffed chair and marvel at the way God has blessed our family by bringing him into our family. My heart is so full of love for this little boy.
My thoughts then start to drift to Grayden's birth parents and the difficult sacrifice they made for him. I wonder how they're doing today, we don't hear from his birthmom as often anymore. I remember back to a year ago when we had daily contact with her I had this idea to read through some of those old emails from her.
I started with this one dated 6/11/09, a year ago today where she is talking about her search for adoptive parents for her son:
"I had probably 12-15 in depth profiles to look through and even after looking through and reading all of them, you were the only one that I could absolutely say yes to. There were others that I said a very hesitant maybe, but..... you two were the only ones I definitely said yes about. No one even came close. So even from the beginning of the looking, God directed me to you two. I love how I can see God's hand in it from the very beginning and even now....that will be awesome to continue to see how he will continue to work with each day... I know He is constantly working.... He definitely had a plan for this little one.... It is very evident to me....with all of the things that have happened that only God could orchestrate.... Very awesome..... something I thank God for every day.... that He knew better than I."
And in reply I wrote back:
"*****,
This email alone was orchestrated by God, you have no idea how good it is to read this, I needed to hear this today and God knew that.
We love this little boy so so much I can't even begin to put into words. We think he is perfect for our family and we always give God the praise for that. It has been so amazing to watch God's plan for our lives unfold. His plan has been perfect all along and I am embarrassed to say that at times in the past it was hard to understand that, but now looking back God has had his hand in this process since the beginning of time...it is just so amazing and humbling to sit back and think about all that every chance we get.
We love our life with Grayden in it and give God the glory for that. We also thank Him for you and ***** just as often and for the huge responsibility we have been given from you and God to be his parents. He is perfect for our family, an answer to our prayers as well. I just even think of the the timing of everything too. A few weeks before our case worker called us about you and ***** she had called to tell us that an expectant birthmother was considering us but ended up going with another couple; at the time we were pretty sad about that but thinking back now I am so glad she did chose someone else. A few weeks later we meet you and were chosen to be placed with your child instead. All in God's perfect plan. I can't imagine life without him, he was the baby God had meant for us.
God does have big plans for him. We tell him how special and desired he is and with tears in our eyes thank God for him. He is so loved. I can't wait until he is old enough to truly understand that someday, we tell him already but what will really be great is when he can understand all what that means to him.
I know I tell you this a lot, but a lot will never be enough....thank you so much for entrusting us with this gift and for giving us the most awesome responsibility there is...to be parents again. We love parenthood more than we ever even imagined. We continue to pray for you and *****.
~Love from all of us! "
(raise your hand if you're crying!)
Sometimes that can be very hard.
I'd be lying if I said adoption was always a walk in the park for us, its not. I'll always struggle with certain things. I worry about Grayden as he grows, I hope he always knows how loved he is and understands what adoption means for all of us. I worry that kids will say mean things to him about being adopted. I'm nervous just to publish this post for fear of adoption nay-sayers leaving awful comments like they have in the past. I grieve the fact that I missed out on his first days of life. I worry about his birth parents, I hope they feel peace about their decision. I hope they think we are doing a good job of raising him.
In the end I wouldn't change a thing about the way God chose to grow our family.
I pray God will bless our family through adoption again someday, in His own perfect timing. I've said it so many times before. He has the best plan for our lives, I'm lovin' this life!
~Prov 3:5: Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
*fashion friday will be back next week, I've been wanting to write these things for a long time now and after reading that email from last year, today seemed like the perfect time!
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27 Responses to “ a well orchestrated plan ”
*raising hand*
Your words were so beautifully written! Grayden is a very very lucky little boy to have family as wonderful as you!
I love this post! Beautiful! It's obvious God has truely blessed your family! :) It's amazing how good he is!
Not only tears, but goose bumps as well! God is always in control and so very Awesome!! Beautiful!
Grayden is so lucky to have you! What a beautiful post. And what awful person has left nasty comments for you in the past? I'm so shocked by that. Adopting a child is SO selfless and such an amazing thing — my husband wants to but I am too afraid. I commend you and any other adoptive parent! What a wonderful gift you've given Grayden and vice versa.
What have people said in the past? I can't believe how nasty someone (probably anonymous) can be.
I will tell you from experience as an adopted child that i was made fun of. Kids would come up to me and ask, "were you adopted?". I would simply respond "yes", and i think that such a simple answer put them at a loss for words. No matter how you spin it, adoptive children are always different, but in a special way. A strong family life and wonderful parents got me through anything and everything.
Growing up i always knew i was adopted, but prior to knowing where babies really came from, i thought a stork dropped me off, but other babies came some other way!
What a beautiful post! Before our IVF miracle we went through the stage of thinking adoption was the only way we could have kids. I come from a family in which we adopted three kids from the foster care system, and it has not always been an easy road - far from it, in fact. Having witnessed that firsthand, to say that I struggled and grieved in realizing adoption might be our only option would be putting it lightly. I was devastated.
But then IVF worked. A few months after my son was born I felt God really turning my heart about adoption, and I now believe God has created room in my heart for an adopted child. My hubby is not there yet – I’m not sure he ever will be - but that doesn't change my awe at this transformation in myself. I never thought of myself has a hard-hearted person, but in this way I think I was. But we serve an amazing God who can change hearts, and does. And then there are people like you, who are testaments to the way God can create a beautiful, loving family. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, they really inspired me!
I love that you have such a heart for adoption. I think it is truly amazing! What a blessing Grayden has been in your life as well as a blessing you have been in his! He is a very lucky little boy to have such loving parents!
This is beautiful - thank you for sharing!
fashion friday can definitely take a back seat to this :)
Both my hands are raised!! Such a beautiful gift!! God is awesome!! And while this may not really be a fashion Friday post I LOVE your outfit!!
This is very fitting for fashion Friday because I always say my family is my best accessory! :)
Your family is absolutley gorgeous!! The letter from Gradyens birthmother is very touching. From what I read, you are doing an amazing job and he is the cutest little guy!
I may be emailing you soon... my husband and I are currently going through fertility treatments but are reaching the end of how far we want to pursue this. We have talked that when we've reached that point, we would rather pursue adoption than go further into fertility treatments. It has been such a blessing to read about how your life as been impacted through adoption. So maybe in a few months or so I'll be emailing for advice. But until then, thanks for your honesty and sharing your story!
Such a beautiful post Katie! You have a beautiful family, and it is amazing seeing how God has worked in your life:)
Beautiful.
God is so amazing and you wrote this all beautifully!
Very cute pics!
beautiful family, beautiful words~
Hand raised!
This is very touching...glad I stummbled on your page! I am so glad that God is always aware of our hearts desires! I would love to continue to visit often and hear of the awesome work God is doing in your family!
Will be praying for you all!
YES, I am raising my hand! *tears*
Keep "Lovin' that Life"! That sweet, sweet life that makes you whole :)
As for the "worries", I share some of those fears and we've yet to even enter the world of adoption. However, I know in my heart that its something I have a desire to do, but my husband is just not there yet. At present we are persuing fertility treatment, but I know there are no gurantees in this strugle and have opened my heart to other pathways to the world of Motherhood.
I always enjoy following your story, as it always fills me with such JOY and HOPE. There have been many days that I have poured over your words and cried a river of tears, as my heart relates to you on so many levels.
You are a wonderful Mother! You love your boys with all your heart and I know that you will be blessed again with another sibling for Grayden. Brenham will always be the BIG Brother :)
Thank you once again for being so transparent. Lifing you up today in prayer and praising God for this wonderful gift in Grayden. And, thank you for just being "you".
Much Love
Andrea
Huge lump in my throat and tears. You capture a mother's heart so beautifully. Thank you for sharing. Your words are such a blessing to me as I think of my own children. You and Rob are also such an inspiration in seeking Christ as you bring Grayden up...that encourages me more than you'll ever know. Grayden is sooo loved.
Thanks to you, my hair is nicely poofed now, scarf is tied,and hand is raised.
Beautiful post, Katie! I am adopted myself, my birth mother was too young and realized that she wouldn't be able to give me the life that I deserved, so she placed me in foster care. I was adpoted at the age of 6 weeks old. My parents that raised me could not have done a better job! And I was never made fun of. All the other kids thought it was cool that I was adopted. Something that they weren't.
God sure knew what he was doing when he placed Grayden with such wonderful parents!
I'm home sick today from church and found your blog through blogfrog.
I love this story -- what beautiful thing God is doing in your lives. He's adopted us into His family and is giving you the opportunity to experience that as a parent. What a gift!
Blessings to you and your family!
i found your blog just a few days ago, and i've read from the whole thing now. wow, you are amazing. i was adopted 19 years ago at 7 days old, and to be honest i have never felt as though i wasnt loved enough and have never really had issues with kids picking on me. my parents told me from the very beginning that i was adopted and it has never been a issue. its always been a part of my life and i don't really feel any different from my peers. there are times when i wonder about my birth parents and wonder what my life would be like if i had not been adopted but all in all i love the fact that i was adopted makes me feel extra special :)
Can not help but comment to your sweet post. Your baby is beautiful and I know he has blessed you as you have him. We experienced the miracle of adoption 9 months ago. Anyone who has a problem with it is not thinking of the alternative for these children who would grow up in sometimes horrific conditions. In an ideal world, adoption would not be necessary, but we all know we do not live in an ideal world. It sounds like you have a birth mom who truly loved her baby and wanted a stable life for him - so do we! I think it is awesome to be able to tell how son how loved he was by his birth mom and what a selfless choice she made to give him a wonderful life. I am confident that even if he has some struggles, he will realize that God placed him in the family he was created for. I am sure your son will realize the same thing. God bless you guys.
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