Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Paula asked....What is your parenting style? Do you read any parenting books?

First let me say that this question really intimidates me! I worry so much about being a good parent and pray we can raise Grayden to be a respectful, godly man.
I must say that I think I'm on the right track by praying for God's help but I often fall short. I know there will be many struggles in parenting through the years but with God's help and by reading His Word I know its reachable.
I also think its really important to start young. Proverbs 22: 6 says "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." It might sound silly but even at this age when Grayden gives me attitude or disobeys me I gently scold him (and then he cries and I feel so bad! lol) I don't want him acting that way now and I certainly don't want him to act that way when he's older. The Bible is a great resource to us as parents!
As for books, I just recently checked out the book "Shepherding a Child's Heart" from our church library and briefly skimmed it and back to the library it went. To be honest, I feel really self-conscious about my parenting when I read books like that. I just know I could be doing better and shows me that some of my ways are completely wrong. I know that's something I have to work on and when I have a better grasp on that I'd love to check it back out! I hear great things about that one!

I read some things about parenting the other day on a blog I love, Women Living Well, that had some very good points I'd like to share with you!

1. Read great books to your children and introduce them to the best minds in the world.
2. Satan hates children. They are the next generation and he'll do anything to distract them with television, video games etc. Remember to continually prepare your children to serve God.
3. Create a foundation of love in your home. Teach them to obey the greatest commands, to love God and love others. Just as Jesus spent time with the disciples eating, laughing and doing life with them, as parents we must build bridges of love to our children's hearts. Live, laugh and do life together.
4. Establish a foundation of grace in your home. From Genesis to Revelation we see the grace of God revealed. Teach your children to offer God's grace to others - many times this is displayed through good manners.
5. Inspire your children. They were created to do good works. Find their talents and let them be who they are. Fill their hearts and minds with heroes and those who made a mark on this world for Jesus. Stand with your children through trials knowing that this is making them a stronger man or woman of God. Don't always protect them, let God build their character and grow them through their trials.

6. Teach your children scripture and live out a faithful story before them. They will have to be warriors for God one day and they are watching us. What are we role modeling? They need to see our passion for the Lord which gives them a foundation for their faith.
7. Train your children to be self-controlled, to work hard and long hours, to be creative and grow them into maturity. Be intentional about your training. This is a long process. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." "When he is old" means when he grows a beard. This is a process. And remember - at what age did we become perfect? We are working towards maturity not perfection. Filter television. Be sure to fill their minds with truth.
8. Teach your children to serve others. Train them to take initiative in relationships. If you want to see them as a servant of God, you must incorporate it into their lives. Show them the needs of the world through missions, homeless shelters, serving your neighbors and opening your home. Do not let your children become the future Pharisees of America, teach them to serve.
"Training your children in Godliness is a lifestyle!"

Good stuff huh?
*I'd love to hear your tips or thoughts on this subject if you'd be willing to share!*

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15 Responses to “ {Parenting} ”

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie,
Not that I have any experience (YET!) on parenting, but I did just finish an excellent book. It's called "The Parent You Want to Be" by Les and Leslie Parrot. It is more about teaching your own heart to be a good parent, than discipline styles etc. I LOVED it.

Kate said...

thanks for the reccomendation Beth, that sounds like a really good one, I've read books of there's before about marriage and really like them!

The McAfee's said...

Have you read Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson? That's a good one!

The Gimlins said...

Great post! I honestly do not know how people parent without Christ. There are days when I could just cry after disciplining my son for what seems like the 30th time he gets into something I told him not to. And thats when I realize (once again) that I cannot do it by myself, but I have to ask for God's patience, grace and wisdom every single morning before my little one wakes. I will admit that parenting certainly gives me a new perspective on God's grace for me. :)

I'm currently reading "To Train Up a Child" and plan to read "Bringing Up Boys" next.

Kate said...

thanks so much the grimlins for your insight, very well said!
and McAfee's, no I haven't read that one yet either but its on my list as well! thanks!

Paula said...

Thanks Kate for answering my question! I agree parenting is a tricky thing. At times it scares me to death. I just want to do what is best for my sweet boy. Becoming a parent has allowed me to trust in my Father more and to lean on Him for understanding when it comes to this parenting thing. I just checked out Love and Logic but haven't started it yet. I too love reading mom blogs and getting advice from everyday moms (like yourself.) Thanks for being real and willing to share life with the blog world.

Kate said...

i completely agree Paula! let me know how you like the book!

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie - just a plug for Bible Study Fellowship, it's a great thing for mom's and their kids. The kids have 2 leaders who pray for them each week. They learn to share, pick up toys, obey their teachers and most of all they learn sooooo many wonderful truths about God. They also learn what it is to have a quiet time. By the time they're 3 they lay quiet for 10 minutes and think about God. It's so amazing to see how much they learn. Also, each week the mom's get a take home page all about parenting!!!

Kate said...

thank you anon. for sharing about BSF, that sounds like a great program for kids and moms! unfortunatly for me we try to avoid group childcare settings (germs that Grayden could pick up and pass onto me would make me really sick!) so I would leave Grayden with someone at home but what a great way to minister to kids!

Kevin, Brittany, Cailey, and Reece said...

I totally agree with you on teaching them now what you want them to know later. I hate it when people say "oh they are too little to do that/act like that/ be scolded for that but if you dont start now and lay the foundation they won't just magically know later. Good stuff!

Kate said...

my thoughts exactly Brittany!

ricci said...

I'm reading a book called Gospel-Powered Parenting by William P. Farley. It's a great book.

Allie said...

We use Love and logic by Jim & Charles Fay
....www.loveandlogic.com ....
I have an 8 & 5 year old...two years ago we took a class offered through our school... my husband was very skeptical about the class, but I thought anything is better than having to yell and I was starting to burn out BIG TIME (both my husband and I are and always have been pretty strict as far as what kind of behavior we expect from our kids, but the way we approached it was not the least stressful way for us). Honestly taking that class was the BEST thing we ever did as parents and has completely made me more relaxed as a mom as far as stressing about disipline goes. For our family Love & Logic makes sense.

When we are out people ALWAYS comment on how well behaved our kids are... that's not saying there aren't days when they don't test the limits (all kids do).. but for the most part all the work we put in to change how we parent has paid off.. I am enjoying my kids more than I ever thought possible.

Love and Logic changed our life.. my only regret was not starting it when they were younger.

Kim said...

Long time reader here. I love your blog! I especially enjoy how you are not shy about what you believe.

To respond to some of the previous comments... I've tried to read "Bringing up Boys" but in my own opinion there were some connections made in that book that weren't valid connections, as if the writer was trying to force a verse and one of his experiences to be 'the way it is for boys'. I had a hard time with it. You might find that you like it, but I did not.

In my home we use Parenting with Love and Logic and love, Love, LOVE this parenting style. It has roots in Christianity but anyone can use it. If you are on Facebook I strongly recommend you fan them and read the weekly 'What would you do if...?' questions to see how it is put in place in homes. I didn't buy any of the books but I have checked them out at the library and they are really good.

Your roots in the word inspire me and my family and I wish you much happiness.
~ Kim

Erika said...

I recently started a parenting class and I really love the book we are using. While it's not necessarily religion based, it's all about empowering our children to be respectful, responsible and have the abilty to make decisions and be held accountable for them. I'm using it on my 5 and 7 year old currently, but am already seeing benefits with my 19 month old as well!
Called "the parents handbook" goofy cover but great ideas!!