Today we celebrated your 4th birthday! It’s hard to believe you would have been FOUR years old, at times it seems like just yesterday and at other times it seems like a lifetime ago.

Do you know how much has happened in the past four years?! 9 months of dialysis and a kidney transplant for Mommy, 2 sweet little brothers who would have adored you as their big brother, a new house with lots of room you could have run around in, lots of fun family trips and great memories. Oh how we wish you were here with us to experience this life with us; we know you are having the best time of all in Heaven but we miss you more than words could ever say.



You were the very first thought I had when I woke up this morning. Do you know how special you are to be born on Leap Year Day?!
So many people remembered your birthday and sent sweet cards, notes and emails…it means so much to know you are remembered by so many!



We brought 4 balloons to the cemetery tonight and went out for pizza, we thought surely you would have loved pizza!











We celebrated YOU today and the impact you made in this world! Your story lead people to Christ, made people cherish, love, and live deeper, and gave people hope. Do you know how great that is? Your life had meaning in this world and we will never be the same.

Our celebration wasn’t close in comparison to the celebration you’re having in Heaven today; you’re having the best party imaginable. We can’t wait to join you someday!

Love you sweet boy.
Until we meet at Jesus’ feet…

(this was taken by Grandma Lubbers on the beach of the Indian Ocean in Xai-Xai, Mozambique)

thanks patrice for the new blog makeover! i adore it! you always do such a great job!!

you are now exclusively walking, you can stand yourself up in the middle of the room and take off…no need for crawling anymore!
you cruise right along!



 
you had your first haircut a few weeks ago, you weren’t such a fan!




you love to eat, even giggle while doing so!

you are a little dare devil, you have NO fear…you’ve taken years off my life already!


you say ‘dada’ and ‘uh-oh’
you have 5 teeth
at your last pediatrician appointment you weighed 19lbs 4 oz and were 27” long…little peanut. 10th %ile for weight and 50th %ile for height!

you wear size 3 diapers and 6-12 month clothes.

you love your sippy cup!

your hair has gotten curlier and curlier! love it!

love you sadler!

I realized that the majority of my blog posts are either about Sadler’s growth or Gray being naughty, so I thought I’d share a little about who Gray REALLY is!

I took these videos of him a few weeks back!

he talks/asks about Brenham all.the.time. At least once a day he’ll  come up to me and say he’s sad b/c he misses Brenham.

he named that doll Sarah all on his own, coincidently, I had an imaginary friend (don't laugh!) when i was little also named Sarah!

he’s a little ham bone and pretty smart if you ask me!

life is never dull when he’s around, he is constantly talking and comes up with the funniest things!

awhile back (before illness struck our house) he coughed in the car and said “oh i just had a little germ”

he tells me I’m his big best friend and Sadler is his little best friend! so sweet! I hope someday Sadler has the same feelings about Gray!

he picks up on everything, a few days ago he was singing a song I had never heard before, turns out he learned it from a “cat in the hat'” episode!

oh that paci he loves so much!

Gray is completely potty trained now, he does still wear diapers to bed but during the day he poops and pees on the potty. he tells me when he needs to go and often goes all by himself!

He’ll be starting 3school this Fall, he asks me 100 times a day when he can go to school, he is so excited! I know he will love it and could use the structure!

We love this little man more and more everyday!

Although he has his naughty moments he truly is a sweet 2 year old!

~all  is well again in the lubbers house, i’m feeling 100% better, Gray is back to his normal self and Sadler got his stitches out on Saturday. His head looks like it will heal up nicely!

it was “too bright” for him at Steak and Shake Friday afternoon :)

Robb remained healthy and incident free the whole time! Lucky him and lucky us for taking such good care of his family!

~I never posted about Super Bowl, but we had a few friends over to watch the commercials game. We ordered Hungry Howies pizza, which is my fave b/c of the flavored crust, its the only pizza crust I eat. So needless to say the Hungry Howie’s commercial was my fave!

I saw this on pinterest and made it for the party, the goal post things kept flopping over but at least I got a pic!

this little football fan and his big bro went to grandma and grandpa’s house to watch the game :)

~we didn’t do much for valentine’s day, other than bring sadler to the er :) i didnt’ need flowers or chocolate, a couple sweet friends of mine sent some to the hospital for me! Maybe Robb and I will have to plan a date for this weekend instead!

~yesterday we went to my niece, makenna’s first birthday party! Such a sweetie (who will be a big sister in August)!!

~today i went to the hand doctor and finally got my splint off after 6 weeks, my finger is nice and straight again! I have to wear the splint part time for a few more weeks but thankfully surgery is not needed!! Hooray!

this morning i woke up with more joint pain, this time in my left knee as well. I should have been popping my pain meds around the clock but I had just been taking them as needed, needless to say today I’ve been doing better at watching the clock and keeping up on it so far today.

I needed to get some blood work done at the lab before 9am so Robb called my mom to come help with the boys and take me to the lab and he headed to work. I was so slow in getting around by 8 I knew i wouldn’t make it the lab in time so we’ll try again tomorrow. So my mom just decided to take the boys home with her for a little while so I could rest and relax my crippled body :/

We were getting things together when Sadler took a nasty spill and hit his head on the corner of our baseboards. Blood was everywhere and the cut looked pretty deep. I thought right away he would need stitches! My mom called Robb and he came home and we were off to the emergency department for the 3rd time this week!

turn away now if you’re squimish

pre-stitches picture

this ipod picture doesn’t do it justice, this baby was deep, the doctor said he saw the bone!

so he needed 2 stitches, poor baby was a trooper but it was rough! Sadler is a very strong boy so it was difficult to hold him still while he was stitched up!

Seriously! What a week!

At 2:30 Robb and I had to take Sadler back to his pediatrician for a check up on his broncholitis. He is doing much better and is done with his steroid meds and we just need to give him his nebulizer as needed!

(pics from last night)

it cracks me up to watch him so dazed and chill during his treatments!

He’ll get his stitches out on Saturday!

thanks so much for your sweet comments, prayers and words of encouragement; they mean a lot to me! February is a hard month for us; in more ways than one!

So where did i leave off?

Robb was home with the boys mostly b/c they were still sick and we didn’t want anyone else to watch them and get anyone else sick like they did poor Grandma L :( This was a nasty bug!

So he would update me on them and I would update him on me throughout the day. By Saturday afternoon his diarrhea had only been getting worse and after talking to my nurses about his sickness it sounded like he could be getting dehydrated too (not urinating much, crying with no tears and dry mouth). So he dropped Sadler off my my parents and took Gray to his first ER visit. It was so hard not being there with them but Robb was a pro by now!

turned out he wasn’t quite to the point of needing fluids so the doc sent them back home with orders to drink more fluids.

I had been feeling pretty good up until the point Gray went to the ER, i wanted to be there for him SO bad.

Sunday morning I way kidney function was back to where it should be so i was discharged from the hospital with antibiotic meds and orders to take them twice a day to continue treating the infection. It was so good to be home, I slept for awhile when I got home and by the time I woke up I was wishing I was back in the hospital with pain control! My elbow and knee joints were screaming in pain! I had no idea what i did to my elbow or knee, couldn’t remember hurting them or anything, the only thing i could come up with was i was just REALLY sore from being in the hospital bed so much.

i spent the whole day and half the night trying to sleep it off. Finally at 2am Robb helped me hobble downstairs to sleep in the recliner, that helped a little but I had no idea how I was going to be able to take care of myself let alone the boys all day while Robb went back to work after being off weds-fri  last week to take care of us sickies. He called my mom and dropped the boys off and set me up with everything I would need next to my chair I was confined too.

After awhile I managed to drag myself upstairs to get a new roll of toilet paper and i grabbed the info from the doctor on the prescription i had filled. i read it and the first line said ‘this drug may raise the chance of tendons getting irritated and tearing. the chance is greater in people over 60, heart, KIDNEY or lung TRANSPLANT PATIENTS”

BINGO! my new medicine was causing this! UGH! I skipped my upcoming does of that med and told robb right away; he got to work getting me a new medicine. The nurse prescribed me a different antibiotic and I'm already feeling a bit better! I wouldn’t have even been able to type this an hour ago. The doctor called me and also prescribed something for the pain and told me it may to a week to heal.

oh my goodness i sure hope this is the last of it, I'm so ready to have my healthy family back.

gray is doing better everyday and sadler is as well!

Super Bowl Sick

i was planning on my next post being about our super bowl party but before i got a chance to write it 3/4 of our family got super sick.

Grayden woke up puking on Tuesday morning, poor kid has never thrown up before so he had no idea what was happening. He kept saying he was spitting up and wanted his paci so he wouldn’t do it again, so sad to see him sick! By the next day he was much better but still has bad diarrhea. Please keep him in your prayers.

Meanwhile on Tuesady, Sadler had a 9 month well child visit at the pediatrician, I asked her about his cold symptoms and breathing (for those of you who know sadler, you know he always sounds like he’s sick and breathes heavily). She tested for rsv (negative) and diagnosed him with bronciolitis and put him on a nebulizer which he does 4 times a day. I can see improvements already but Robb did take him back to the dr. Friday afternoon for a chest x-ray to determine if he could have pneumonia, that also came back fine. Please pray for him as he fights off this cold!

Now my turn, Tuesday night into Wednesday I started throwing up and felt really achy, I wasn’t surprised, I catch bugs so quickly ever since I had my transplant. By the end of the day Wednesday my stomach was feeling a little better and I had stopped throwing up but I was still really achy and at this point my kidney was feeling pretty tender. During the night I had so much back pain I could hardly stand it, I couldn’t sit or lay in any position to make me comfortable. Finally after a few doses of Tylenol (all i can take b/c of transplant) I managed to fall asleep.

Thursday morning I started throwing up again and couldn’t keep my anti-rejection meds down. Robb and I decided it was time to call the doc. Skipping meds is a huge no-no. They wanted me to go in for fluids b/c it sounded like I was dehydrated. I was miserable but managed to get in the car and Robb took me to the ER for fluids.

Once I got there they started the IV fluids, pain meds and did some blood work and a urine test. While I was there I had a fever spike to 104.5. Eventually they determined I had a bad kidney infection. I went for an ultrasound to check on my kidney and make sure it wasn’t enlarged. Then they admitted me to the hospital and started antibiotics. In the meantime my ultrasound results came back fine and my pain and fever had been controlled by meds.

Friday morning they did more blood work and that showed that the infection spread to my blood and developed into sepsis and my kidney function was worsening. They continued to give me fluids 24/7 but I wasn’t urinating much so I started to swell. By late in the evening I asked to have blood work done again and things were finally starting to improve.

So that brings us up to today. Still receiving antibiotics for the infections and trying to keep the swelling down. Trying to eat and gain energy but I have little appetite yet. My labs this morning showed more improvement so things are on the upswing!

Please keep us in your prayers!