it took robb finding me sobbing in the shower at 12:15 last night for me to realize something is not right here. I came to the conclusion that i never had the chance to fully grieve the loss of brenham. 27 days after he died my kidneys failed and i had to focus on fighting for my own life instead of the loss of my son's.
The last 6 weeks I have been celebrating my transplant, rejoicing over my new life. But all along I have been pushing the grief away. And its been brewing and intensifying this whole time.
And it took all of last weeks bad news to make it all come to the surface again. Not a fun place to be. Back to square one. Lets hope I'm not here too long.
Thank you so much for your prayers and encouraging comments. They are helping.