its been a rough week

Sunday, November 16, 2008

This week has been filled with so much sadness, sin and sorrow. My heart is heavy and I have drifted back into that slimy pit, the one i just pulled myself out of. One step forward, two steps back.
I know many of you have been praying for my sweet friend Nicole. I had the privilege of spending time with her this past week and getting to know dylan, who will be making his brief arrival on this earth very soon. I am trying to stay strong but i cant understand why God allowed dylan to be sick and why he wont be around for longer than a moment.

Others I know just had there lives flipped upside down and their hearts will never be the same. They are broken, crushed and hurt, and so are we.

I am angry. So many people have been put through the terrible loss of a child. It's been happening far too often around me lately and the hurt all comes flooding back. I have fallen, and i have been thrown back into the pit of sorrow.
I am trying to trust that God is doing the right thing in these peoples lives, and that He has our best interest at heart. I know that the God of the Universe will do the right thing. He is complete perfection. all wise. only good.
But, it doesnt feel like this is the right thing. I need your prayers, your encouragement.
"lift me out of this slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. set my feet on a rock and give me a firm place to stand. put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to You, my God. cause many to see and put their trust in You, Lord." Psalm 40:2-3

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13 Comments »

13 Responses to “ its been a rough week ”

Anonymous said...

I'm praying right now for you Katie. I hope you will feel the peace of God, even when things just don't make sence.

Nicole said...

Ooh, I wish I could give you a hug! Praying for a better week, filled with peace and encouragement. Praying for moments of pure joy.

Love, Nicole

Anonymous said...

I seen how the "announcement" this morning at church effected you and Robb.... I knew you were reliving the pain. Please know that at that moment, I not only said a prayer for the family experiencing this pain for the first time, but for you and Robb also. Keep trusting- just think, as Ken said this morning while speaking of his "treasure" - your "treasure" is there for you too! They are probably playing together right now, and if I'm reading your blog correctly, Nicole's "treasure" will be there to join in their games. We have to trust God in what he is doing. We may not understand, but we must trust.

Krista said...

Ditto everything you said. For some reason this has been a tough weekend for many of us. My only comfort is knowing that we are all lifting each other up in prayer. I hope you find a peace tonight.

The VanderZwaags said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The VanderZwaags said...

Katie...praying for you and Robb today as well as all of those who have lost a baby and the family we prayed for this morning. I thought of you too as we were listening to what Ken had to say. I can't imagine how hard that was for you and Robb to hear...I looked at Morgan and hugged her a little tighter. They are gifts from God. I echo what "our friend" said...they are both playing in heaven now. Praying hard for you tonight!!!
(sorry that was me that removed the post...I messed up!)

Val said...

Katie,
I dont know who they are talking about from your church this morning but my heart aches knowing another family is going through a loss. I just commented to Nicole about a sermon we had a ridgepoint read hers and you can check it out too. Sometimes life is sooo hard but we are all hear together to help each other out. Praying for you tonight, to feel Gods peace and love.

tscarter7 said...

We may never understand but we can rest in knowing that God is good whatever the situation. God bless you and give you His peace. Love, Susan

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie and Robb - thinking of you guys and praying for you as your heart aches for the Harmsen's and the pain they are going through. I read this quote awile back and thought it worth saving:
Happy moments - Praise God
Difficult moments - Seek God
Quiet moments - Worship God
Painful moments - Trust God
Every moment - Thank God

Hope you can feel the prayers and love from those that care about you--------------friend from ORC

Val said...

I just saw the obituary. My heart is aching for them too!! Do you know them? maybe soon you, me, angel, and Nicole could all get together over a coffee and just talk...let me know what you think. I feel that by us losing our babies, we can reach out to those who are going through the same thing. We can say "I know how you feel!" and mean it!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie, My heart aches with you and your friends. It is only natural that this should send you reeling - that is the difficult road of grief. It always helps me to remember that this is not how God made the world - this is the mess mankind made when he sinned. God made us a perfect world with no death or sin, and we (mankind) did this to it! I know His heart aches with and for us, when He sees the result of giving men a free will. He IS still all goodness, the only thing really good in this rotten, sin-cursed world! He is trustworthy, and He cares. Pour out all your sorrow to Him. :) Love and hugs!

Kellie said...

I still struggle deeply with my bad days too. It is just so hard to allow God to work through us when all we are feeling is pain and sadness over the loss of our babies! It just doesn't make sense. Take a look outside for me today and even though it is bitter cold, enjoy the white crispness of the beautiful snow. Take a deep breath and let it out; all the while letting all your worries, all you sorrows out with it. God bless you and your sweet angel. ~Kell~

Anonymous said...

Hi Katie,

I'm praying for you. We've never met, but from your posts I know your faith is solid. We all struggle and question God. There is so much deep sorrow in this world. It's people like you that have suffered so much, yet still have faith in God that witness to all of us. I wish you wouldn't have to go through so much, but it does make me wonder what God is preparing you for....I have a feeling that He is and will be using you for great things. I know you have touched my life in a good way.

I pray that God will bring You the peace that can only come from Him.

Julie