4 months down... 100's to go

Sunday, June 29, 2008

It cant stay like this forever, I just wont be able to do it.
It has to get better soon. Very soon.
My heart hurts more everyday. We miss him so much. And although we know he is happy and whole now in heaven, our selfishness wants him here with us.
We want to take him to church with us, to the park, the zoo and Disney World, we want to tuck him in at night and comfort him when he cries. We want to welcome him into our bed when he is scared of the storm, had a bad dream or needs his tummy rubbed. I want to wipe his messy face after dinner, hold his hand, kiss his toesies and bandage his scraped up knees.

We want to teach him about Jesus and how to tie his shoes. I want to help him with his homework and give him advice on girls. We want to see the man he would have become. But God didn't want that for us, why??

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18 Responses to “ 4 months down... 100's to go ”

Anonymous said...

It will get better. I promise. It probably doesn't mean much coming from a stranger, but God won't leave you in this battle alone.

I'm praying for you daily.

Kellie said...

I know what you meam girl!! I wish I had the answers but if I did, I wouldn't be asking myself the same questions! Please remember that God does know what he is doing and that we just have to go along and live our lives to the best of our ability! Hopeing for GOOD days always!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why honey. But I pray that God will shine some light in your lives.

Always in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

My heart breaks for you. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling but take comfort if you can in knowing that there are MANY people praying for you daily. Not just those that you love but many of us who don't know you personally but love you just the same. Stay strong.

Amanda said...

I wish I knew the words to say to make you feel better. But I don't; I know no one does. My prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry that Rob and you have had to go through such a loss. I know God has something planned that we can't understand right now. I am amazed at how much God has used you already through these times. Not many young ladies like you that is for sure. I am older than you and when I read your blog I am very very blessed and my faith is strengthened or encouraged. My prayers are with you!

Anonymous said...

I wish I had the perfect words, but I don't. You will always miss him because you love him. I still think about my angels daily and what they would be doing.
Thinking of you

Daddy's Dream ~Mommy's Miracle said...

I know exactly how you feel. We lost our son on Valentine's day this year. You can read our story at http://daddysdreammommysmiracle.blogspt.com/

I will keep you in my prayers. Sincerely,

Destiny Peters

Anonymous said...

I know you are probadly sick of
hearing this but keep the faith.
I pray for you often and God
will send a child for you to
watch and grow with. Just think
how much he or she will be LOVED.... gives me goosebumps....
I don't even know you and I know that you and Robb are special &
God has great plans for you.

Tracy Anne said...

I pray for your family and your health often! I am praying for peace and comfort during this time and healing for your body!

Because you trust Him you will be blessed greatly.

Anonymous said...

Our sermon last week was about not always getting the answers we ask for and still trusting Him. I know, seems impossible somedays. I'm right there with you. But so comforting to know that He DOES and He WILL- whatever it is. This particular entry brought tears to my eyes b/c there are days when as a mother myself- I complain about those little things. You have touched so many lives through your faith and through your words. Thank you for that.
Always praying for you!

Trish said...

sending you hugs xxxxxx

p.s. I came out to Coldstone! YUM

Erin said...

i have followed your blog and i want to say that i wish i knew what to say to help things be better.. i how ever cant imagin the pain you go through everyday. i hope and pray for you and your family...

Anonymous said...

As a mom who lost an infant son 1-1/2 years ago, I am praying for you. May God wrap his arms around you and give you peace through this very difficult time. I know your pain, but God knows it even more. He is the One who heals broken hearts. It will never completely go away, but you can find joy in Him again.

A sister in Christ.

Anonymous said...

Katie, it will get better. It will, it will, it will, honey. I know your pain and felt the exact same way when I lost my little boy. Life eventually moves forward from the moment your life went numb. Please be patient with yourself and your feelings- give it time- 4 months is so short. You are surrounded by love. God and time are your doctors- they know just how to help you, but you have to be patient. Send giant e-hugs to you and an e-tissue to wipe away tears.

Val said...

Katie and Robb,
I wish I had something to say to make you feel better. Even having been through it I dont. Just remember that people are praying all the time. Eventually there will be more good days than bad, I promise!! Love you guys!

Jennyc said...

Those are such beautiful tiny hands and feet.

I know that you are trying so hard to go down the road of healing, I am so sorry that you have to go over so many obstacles with your health when all you want to do is move on with rememberance. I will be praying for you. :-)

Megon said...

Katie- I'm not sure if you will ever get this...if you ever look at older comments...but as I set here tonight...reading your story..I am so moved by your walk and faith in Christ to see you through. I can't imagaine your pain but am only certain of the Healer that we serve.

Touched by your story,