I would die for that

Monday, June 2, 2008



There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for a child. I am longing and waiting. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at my miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better daughter, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I have learned the power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life. Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

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8 Responses to “I would die for that”

Anonymous said...

Oh sweetie you will be a great mom! Though it may be hard, focus on what you have, and when you least expect it, your little miracle will happen.
Love, Nicole

Amanda said...

Hello, I don't know you, but I have been following your blog for a little bit, and found it through GRBaby. Anyways, that video is beautiful, I got goosebumps, then tears. The video was great, but your words were better. You are a great mom, and although your son isn't here in the flesh, he is in spirit, and he knows you love him. I pray for you nightly, which is strange for me because I don't know you. I really hope that everything is wonderful for you soon, and you will be able to have a house full of children, because you deserve it so much.

LJFredricks said...

Katie,
I recently found your blog and have been lurking a bit to see how things are going. I recognized your house from one of the pictures and realized that I pass your house 2-3 times daily. I just wanted to let you know that since I realized that, I have been praying for your family and future each time I pass by. Our Father in Heaven is sometimes extremly hard to understand. Thank you so much for showing people that you know he loves us no matter what.
God Bless,
Lisa

Julie & Ben said...

That is a beautiful video. I've never heard of it or seen it, but it was great.

And you will be a great mom.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful video, and even more beautiful words. Thanks for sharing.
-Lydia

Anonymous said...

Dear Katie & Robb,
I saw that rainbow too and thanked God for all of the promises that we may overlook until we have an experience that teaches us to lean hard on them. It's so good of our Lord to put us into families where we can remind eachother of those promises. Keep doing that for eachother and your children will be the recipients of that strong faith. "If with all your heart you truly seek Him, you will surely find Him"! (And you have!!) Cast your burden on Him for He cares for you--You guys do that better then any couple of your age group that I know of !!
Still praying for you in Hamilton

Rachel Marie said...

What a powerful song!! I wish there was something I could do or say to lighten your load. I cannot comprehend your pain, but I can take your words to heart. You are an inspiration and a reminder to be thankful for the little things. Like today as I have been dealing with the frustrations of potty training my 2 1/2 year old I had a boost in patience level as this thought came to me- I am thankful that I have a child capable of being potty trained. While others deal with disabled children who are in diapers all their lives, I shoudn't dare complain about one who has a few accidents! You are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Katie,

I don't know you, but at the same time I do. As I read this post and watched the video on YouTube, I empathized with some of your pain. My husband and I have been given the diagnosis of "infertile" and will be starting IVF soon. I have to believe that there is a plan for those of us who will be awesome moms and dads and there must be a reason that we are asked to endure the pain. Through my tears, I wish you all of the best and pray that little miracles happen for you. I am praying for you.