@!?$%&#!

Monday, August 18, 2008

It didnt work. and it was painful. and now i have to have surgery on thursday. and i have to go to dialysis for the next 2 weeks. Enough said.

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24 Responses to “@!?$%&#!”

Crystal said...

I am so sorry Katie. I hope this time goes fast for you.

the haverdink family... said...

I can totally see why you are frustrated!!! :) Hang in there girl - everyone is praying for you!!! Wendy

LJFredricks said...

So sorry sweetie. You have every right to be frusterated. We will keep praying for you! Hang in there friend.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I so wanted you to return with good news. Everyone always tells those of us struggling that God has a plan and to be patient. Sometimes it feels too difficult to believe. Then, I think back to some positive moments and I think that, without those small glimmers, we would most certainly give up. The other day you mentioned that your husband was a match. There was a glimmer! It just feels like for every step forward, there are a couple steps backward. It must be part of the plan, but, like you, I wish we could feel a glorious outcome sooner rather than later! I am praying for you because as you manage through this difficult time, I am given more strength to deal with some of my own obstacles.

Sandy said...

Im so sorry, my main prayer is that not ONE more bad thing happens to you or your family, enough is enough! You're so strong and are such and inspiration, I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear hang in there, it's just gotta get better soon!!! Sending lots of prayers your way!

Jacki said...

Please hang in there Katie! We are all praying for you. For some strange reason this is all in Gods plan! Hopefully the next few weeks go well! Love lots - Jacki

erin said...

I have been following along the blog. (Fellow Nestie...we were in the July mamas group)
Just wanted to say that I am praying for you and you are such an inspiration. I know this is a crappy time to hear that, but I am hoping you hang in there and fight this with all the strength you can muster. You are amazing.

Anonymous said...

You continue to amaze me with your strength. Keep on going, you can do it! I'm always praying for good news, and I am so confident that you will here some soon. :)

The DeVries Family said...

I think after a while I would get sick of people saying to me, "we are praying for you." But just take comfort in the fact that as brother's and sister's in Christ we care and do pray for peace for you. It must be so hard, but take comfort in the fact that so many people are lifting you up in prayer. God IS faithful. Keep trusting. He WILL see you through. Prayers and thoughts your way-Megan from Zeeland.

Designher Momma said...

it's days like this that you don't want to update a blog, talk about what's going on, but I thank you for updating.

It's on the really bad days that we need to be lifted up in prayer, and even though I don't know you, I can pray for you specifically.

thank you.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry, Katie. I'm praying for a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.

judy said...

hey Katie,

I'm praying for a successful surgery. I prayed for you last night on my jog/walk to 47th and back. Here's to a speedy recovery from this surgery! May God fill the room with His angels to keep you safe!

Daddy's Dream ~Mommy's Miracle said...

When it rains it storms..I know how you are feeling. Giving up seems like it would be so much easier.....but we can't do that. Please take care.
Destiny

Tracy Anne said...

Lord,

Please take care of Dear Katie. She is feeling quite frustrated right now and needs to feel your hand upon her. I pray that you will help heal her pain, physical, emotional and spiritual. You are an awesome God and we know that you never give us more than we can handle but at the moment Katie feels like she is at wits end. Please give her peace and comfort to get over this next hurdle and back on the path to recovery. Amen

Rachel said...

Katie-- A this point I don't know what to say. Thank You for keeping your faith as an ever beaming light. We are praying for you!! Hang in there, and I hope that this surgery goes well, and you have a fast and painless recovery.

erin said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I have you in my oprayers and check your blog often to see how you are. There are people that dont even know you that are praying for you.

jodimichelle said...

Hi Katie - I was just introduced to your blog and your story through another website earlier today - I've read through it all and my heart is breaking for you. I've cried, felt despair, breathless and even smiled throughout reading your beautiful words. You are so honest and it is just so refreshing. I know nothing of what you're going through but please know that our family is now praying for your's and our hearts are heavy for your sorrow.

My all time favorite Bible verse is found in Lamentations 3 (vs 24) "Gods love and mercy are new to us every morning" My prayer for you is that you feel this each and every day.

Peace,
Jodi and Aaron Schaap

Anonymous said...

Katie - thanks for your update even though it wasn't what we were hoping to hear. Hoping and praying that these next 2 weeks go by quickly for you and know you are being prayed for - friend from ORC.

Anonymous said...

Oh Katie, what a bummer. Hang in there!
-Ryan & Lydia

Val said...

I am on my knees praying for you Katie (and Robb). I am just so sad to hear you have to go through more bad stuff. This bible verse I hang on to in tough times,
"Wait on the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord!"
psalm 27:14
Love ya girl!

Jessica Klein said...

I'm so sorry to hear your most recent news Katie... that stinks. If you ever want to hang out feel free to call. I'm not too busy these days. We'll keep you in our prayers!

folkerts said...

Katie,
Praying for you as you go into surgery again tomorrow. The Lord is always with you, even when it doesn't seem like it. Draw near to Him and cling to his promises.
Myrna

Amy Steele said...

Katie & Robb,
My heart & prayers are with you at this devastating time. When I started reading your blog, I thought we had so much in common, but now I know your road is so much tougher than mine. How proud & thankful I am that you have been so bold as to write your true feelings for everyone to know. I have had many of those feelings, but hid them inside & acted "normal". It is so important for others to know what really is going on inside a mother grieving her baby.
We lost our 1st baby, Harrison Page Steele at 38 weeks at the end of a "perfect" pregnancy. I then started hemmhoraging and almost died, ended up in ICU W/ multiple blood transfusions & they almost had to do a hyterectomy to save my life. I made it through that & then was told not to get pregnant for a year or two (so we didn't) and that is where the similarities end!
I have not had all the other life threatening issues to deal with that you have. All I can think is...God must have something special planned for your life & Satan is trying his best to destroy you before God reveals His plan. But stay strong...We know the end of the story...God Prevails and Beats Satan- you just have to keep fighting. I know you will, I can tell from your words. Your strength is amazing.
My only experience w/ organ transplantis that my niece, Jaidan, is being evaluated right now for a Liver Transplant, she is only 9 months old and has the worst form of a rare genetic disorder & some rare complication that make her need a liver now and to make things harder on her mother-her "dad" (or just sperm donor who carried the defective gene)left her mom & her (@ 1 month old)when he found out she was sick . So my sister has had to do this transplant process alone (she has us, but it's not the same)-Anyway, Im sorry that was a side-story.
I do want to let you know where God has brought us now...
10 years later...
My husband & I have been happily married for 13 years, We have 5beautiful children- 3 here (Brooklyn Page, Makailyn Grace & Garrison Pierce) & 2 in Heaven (Harrison Page & Ali Grace-miscarried at 10 wks, between our 2 girls). I am now a L&D nurse, perinatal bereavement coordinator, and facilitator for a pregnancy loss support group called Glory Babies (www.glorybabies.com) and have a ministry called Harrison Bears- we give bears (like the one your friend gave you) to families who have had a loss. I am truely blessed to care for angels and their families as they go through the tragedy of their baby's birth & death.
God is GOOD- even when you can't see His goodness. I know you know this & I have been in similar dark places. You have to experience some darkness, so that you can recongnize the light when it comes. NOW DONT GET ME WRONG! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! LORD BRING ON YOUR LIGHT!!!

Katie,
all I can say right now in this darkness, is just BREATHE...
then BREATHE again... and again just BREATHE...INHALE... AND EXHALE...GOD WILL HANDLE THE REST. HE HAS GIVEN YOU HIS PROMISE AND HE DOES NOT GO BACK ON HIS WORD.
I know this is long and I apologize for that, but I wanted you to know though my trials were not the same, God has brought me to a sweet, sweet place.
And because of what God has done through the life of Harrison & Ali, I AM a better wife, daughter, mother, nurse, sister, friend, & child of God! and you ARE too (not will be), YOU ARE!!

IN ALL OF CHRIST'S LOVE & GRACE,
Amy Steele
(amysteele2004@yahoo.com)
903-452-4172- call anytime I work nights, so when you can't sleep & everyone else is- I'm not!