Archive for 2008

Goodbye 2008

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My initial approach to this post started out as 2008 reasons (not really that many) why the year 2008 bit the big one, the big rotten stinky one. I proceeded to list every hardship, every heartbreak, every hospital visit, every surgery, and every setback that happened in 2008.
Then I had a change of heart, and decided to delete the whole thing and start over. 2008 has been an incredible year. God has blessed us abundantly this year.
~I became a mother, my lifelong dream.
~We celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.
~I have 'met' so many wonderful people whom I now consider friends.
~My relationship with God has blossomed in tremendous ways.
~I received the gift of new life.
~I've witnessed miracles.
~We have felt God's calling on how to grow our family and couldn't be more excited.
~Despite everything it's been through, our marriage has become stronger.
~Heartache was turned into rejoicing!
~Prayers have been answered ten-fold.
We have been through more this year than most people experience their entire lifetimes. When I think back to this time last year, I was a different woman. If someone would have told me what the year 2008 had in store for me I never would have imagined that I be standing here today with the amount of peace and assurance that I feel. God has been good to us. (but I'm still hoping for a much better 2009!) We can't wait to see what other blessings God has in store for us.
Thank you all so much for traveling this journey along with me.
May God bless you ALL this coming year!
Grace and Peace
~Katie

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leave a legacy

Monday, December 29, 2008

Jeremy Camp - There Will Be A Day
I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering.
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face But until that day, we'll hold on to you always.
I know the journey seems so long You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step Where you’ve walked out all alone
Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting
I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always
will wipe away the sorrow that I've faced.
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
this is why this is why I sing
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's been ten months since Brenham went to see Jesus face to face and 24 hours since Dylan did.
I've spent these last 10 months trying to leave Brenham's mark on this world, trying to leave his legacy on the hearts of all who will never know him. 10 months is too long to be without him but not long enough to leave his footprints over this Earth, as much as I want to be with HIM, I know God's not through with me yet. There is so much more planned for me. So many blessing yet to be bestowed. So much joy in our future. So many more lives to reach out to.
Come quickly Lord Jesus. I want to see your face. But until that day I'll hold on to HIM and keep living for the ONE who died for me.
Pray for patience as we walk this journey.

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brenham has a new buddy

Sunday, December 28, 2008

dylan james joined brenham in heaven today. i know they are singing and rejoicing there right now, but down here we are hurting and sad.
my heart breaks for my good friend nicole and her fiance chad. they too just had to say both hello and goodbye to their son in the same day. i know the raw emotions she will have in the next few days, weeks, months and even years to come. the hurt will never leave them. no matter how much your heart heals it will never completely go away and I hate that another person i love has to go through that. i'll never understand the why's but i do know that God is in control and He will be with them through this difficult time now more than ever before, and he will carry them through it.
Nicole, I wish you didn't have to go through this but know i am praying for you so much. I hope you find comfort in knowing your son is happy and healed now playing with his new buddy brenham. Nothing will ever make this heartache worthy enough. But you are such an inspiration my friend. We are all carrying you to HIM.

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Thursday, December 25, 2008


our first Christmas without you,
nothing will ever be the same.
we miss you little boy.
we wish we could have read you the Christmas story, dressed you in a Christmas outfit, and helped you open your presents. We wonder what we would have given you, I know we would have spoiled you to pieces. But you have been given the best present of ALL. Enjoy your first birthday party for Jesus and don't eat too much cake! We wait for the day we get to join you. We love you so much.
~Daddy and Mommy

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hula~hooping on the Wii.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


my favorite part:
robb~"i had 300 once. that wasn't very good."
mindy~"sure ya' did"
cracks me up!

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let the parties begin....

Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas parties that is!

Last night we had my family Christmas party. We started with appetizers and punch at my house and then headed over to my mom and dads house for dinner, games and presents (scored me up some major mulah in panara bread gift cards! woot!). We had a great time!







I will most likely not be blogging much (besides one hysterical video of robb hula hooping on the Wii fit once i get it uploaded, you wont want to miss it..you quite possibly could literally laugh your hiney off) during the next week, but I will at least be updating my Twitter, you can follow me there, katiejo11.

Have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!


but before you go, check out one of Mindy's gifts....

i wonder who got her that?!?!

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yes

to all of you who've asked... yes, those are Brenham's footprints on our Christmas card, aren't they precious?!?!

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To all my Bloggy Friends:

Saturday, December 20, 2008

our 2008 C-mas Card.
Merry Christmas!!!

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Bloggy Game

Friday, December 19, 2008



Join the fun!

Take a picture of your view from a window in your house (even if you don't have snow!), and post it on your blog along with the picture above (you can copy and paste it). Then link your blog back to here and post a comment so I can take a look at your winter wonderland, or your perfect paradise for you southerners (but dont rub it in too much!).
Here's Mine!


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Psalms 126:2

PSALMS 126:2 "Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: they said they among the heathen, The Lord hath done great things for them." PERFECT!
aLLieBooBeRZ, I love it~

BUT I LOVED THEM ALL! It was so hard to pick!
Thanks EVERYONE for playing along, here is my commentary (in normal font) on all of your comments!
Verna said...
"We did it, all the papers are done! Soon NOW!" Yes, Verna! Oh happy day!!


Sandy02 said...
"Quit pinching my butt!!!" :0) You look surprised and he looks guilty! Ha! Sandy, this had me laughing so hard! That is totally hysterical!

LJFredricks said...
"A time to laugh......" Yes, it is!!

Jill Deters said...
To laugh is to live. That is so true!


Jenn said...
Live life, laugh often, and love much. I love that saying, my new motto for life!


Sara said...
"Whoa, does it feel like the house is tilting?" Sometimes it feels like that, especially once we have lots of kids running around in here someday!


Jan said...
"EVERYTHING" (i think Robb is singing that song by Michael Buble - the one on your private blog) Yup, I can hear it too...."And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man, And I get to kiss your baby just because I can.Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through, And you know that's what our love can do." True that!

Nicole said...
I'm not good at this, but I like the pinch your butt one! :) Me too!!


Anonymous said...
I don't have a quote, I just wanted to say I found you blog via another blog, and wanted to let you know what an inspiration you have been to me, just reading your story shows me the real meaning behind faith, and the power of prayer.

God Bless you and your family.
Just wanted to say 'thank you"! Anonymous, that is so sweet!


Neal, Rachel and Morgan said...
I agree...it looks like Robb is up to something! It also looks like a picture of excitement...a picture of we are almost there...a picture of so much joy (well deserved!) Ha! When is Robb not up to something?!?!?! YES! so much excitement!
Laurie in CA said...
"Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Taken from your ticker and I know it is Gods promise to you.) Have a wonderful day!!" Ok now, I had my mind all made up and then i see this one at the last minute, close call!! Love it, of course!

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wordless wednesday

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


in true mckmama fashion...this picture needs a caption...so get creative!!

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Thank you so much everyone!
It is so exciting to see all of you sharing this joy with us!
I wish I had more invites to give out. I want you all to stay updated, unfortunately that's just not possible. If something REALLY exciting happens I may post about it and then delete it within a certain time frame, so you'd have to catch it quick but it's something. Or you could always email me if you're dying for some updates! Here's hoping that we get a placement soon and I can open it up to everyone asap!! I can't wait!

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A year later.....

Monday, December 15, 2008

"And Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me." Matthew 18:5
We're Adopting!!!
Robb and I started the domestic adoption process back in August and we are coming very close to being finished with our home study, the last part of the process! We are very excited to be finally sharing this with you!!
For privacy reasons and also due to the amount of identifying information available on this blog, this topic will not be discussed on this blog much; but rather another blog I started to document the process. It is a private blog and I do have some more invites available if you are interested you can email me. Once we have a placement and the adoption is final I will open it up to everyone!
In the meantime, we really value your prayers and support. This could be a long journey and we are struggling to be patient.

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A year ago today

a year ago today was the day we told most of our extended families and friends the news of my pregnancy. We wanted to wait until after mindy and kyle's wedding day to share the secret, but we couldn't wait much longer after that! We were too excited. I have so many great memories from that night. It was fun to see everyone as excited as we were. We were congratulated and hugged. We got cards and little gifts for baby Lubbers, everyone eager to welcome brenham into their lives. And we can't wait for the day when we all get to Heaven and get to do that, but until then we are going to live each day to the fullest, starting today.
Today, a year later we have some other news to share. stay tuned. today is a great day.

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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Happy One Year Anniversary Kyle and Mindy!

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Could you please pray

Friday, December 12, 2008

For Kelli. I don't know her whole story, but i do know that she has been waiting for a kidney transplant for a LONG time. My heart breaks reading her story and knowing how discouraged she must be. i walked in her shoes for 7 months, 7 months too long and i never want to be there again so please pray that there will be a kidney for kelli real soon!

Thank You! I know I can count on you; my faithful prayer warriors!

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Can you do it?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Can you watch this without crying? I've watched it at least 6 times and still cry.

(make sure you stop my music on the side before you push play)

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You Rock!

Yeah!
Jen, Lindsay, Nicole, Miranda, tscarter7, alliebooberz, Leslie, John, Jill, Sandy, Mindy, Alli, Patrice, Meegs, Courtney, Sarah, Jenni, TBG, Michelle, Jaime, LoriLu and Trish!

You are doing an awesome thing!! You will save lives someday!! That is so cool!!
Way to be!

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paco news

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

i went to the doctor today for a check up, things are still going great! Paco's happy in his new home and still working well! Mindy and I and the hubbys are heading back to Mayo on January 4 where we will stay for 3-4 days. i'm thinking Mindy will have a few routine blood/urine tests and the same for me along with another ultrasound to check on that little pocket of fluid i had around Paco (hoping that is gone now) and a needle biopsy to check for recurrence of the disease. little nervous about that but all is in His control right? I've started doing hair again and quickly getting back into the swing of things, life is normal again! Praise God!


i dont have this shirt, but am totally thinking about getting it, in another color!!

what do you think?
it would definitely promote organ donation!

speaking of that.......
have you decided to give the gift of life by donating your organs and tissue? If you have or plan on doing it, please leave a comment and let me now!
If not, I would like to encourage you to do so. and here's why:

Organ and tissue transplants offer patients a new chance at healthy, productive, normal lives and return them to their families, and friends. you have the power to change someones world by being a donor!!
A new name is added to the transplant waiting list every 13 minutes
An average of 17 people die each day while on the waiting list for an organ donation.
Your decision to become a organ donor could be vital to someone waiting on an organ or tissue transplant.
Its about living.
Its about life.click here for more information on how to donate in your state! do it, do it, do it...you'll get a cute little sticker for your drivers license!

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show and tell vol.5

Monday, December 8, 2008

this is one of those silicone bracelets that i had made for robb's fathers day gift! he loves it and has never taken it off. once again blurry picture (i dont know how to work any of the fancy settings on my camera, i'll have to get the manual out sometime, thanks for the help wifetoonemomtotwo!) but it says ' Missing You~Brenham Jay' on one side and '2~29~08' on the other side.









~thanks everyone for your jewelry cleaning suggestions, i can't wait to try them!~

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show and tell vol. 4

Friday, December 5, 2008


this is a necklace robb got me for mothers day, the picture is totally blurry (i couldn't get close enough to read the words without it getting fuzzy) but the heart part says Brenham Jay 2-29-08 and the circle part says Missing You around it. it also has an itty bitty blue bead at the top. Love it and wear it almost 24/7! its recently started to show some wear and tear, so i've cut back a little on wearing it all the time. if anyone has any good jewelry cleaners they recommend let me know!

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wish me luck

Thursday, December 4, 2008

its been 8 weeks since my transplant! did i count that right? can that be? anyways 8 weeks means its time to start a workout routine, doctors orders!

attempt #1
this....
+ this....
+ me
+ this just feet away
could = disaster!
wish me luck!


i'm stalling, can you tell?!?



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~living in love photo shoot~

Monday, December 1, 2008

Robb and I had so much fun saturday afternoon during our photo shoot with Kristen. She did a great job, she made us very comfortable, she is quick and very affordable, check out her blog here if you need some photography work done.
we love the way they turned out and had a great time doing it Here are some of our favorites!




















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Giving thanks in everything

Thursday, November 27, 2008

"in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18


The Bible tells us to give thanks in everything. Paul wrote that while he was in prison, he had every reason to complain but instead he wrote"rejoice in the Lord always".
Sometimes its difficult enough to remember to give thanks during the good times, when things are going well. So how are we supposed to give thanks when times are hard and nothing seems to be going right?

I'll be honest, I don't do that.

This year thanksgiving was different than years before. Yes, we most certainly do have a lot to be thankful for but there is also a lot of things I am not thankful for. I am not thankful that my baby died and that he is not here to celebrate thanksgiving with us. How I am I supposed to give thanks for that stuff?
Luckily for me, when I read deeper into that passage, I notice something; it says to give thanks in everything not necessarily for everything. Bad things happen; we do not have to give thanks for them, but we can give thanks in the midst of them.

I do give thanks for God's glory being displayed through the hard times.

For that I am thankful.

And some other stuff I am thankful for;
This is an excerpt from our responsive reading in church today

For all the times we laughed till our sides ached; for all the times we were troubled and friends we didnt even know we had sprang up from nowhere and ministered to us; for all the times we could have chosen evil over good but didnt; for all the times we could have been hurt but werent; for all the times we could have died suddenly and unexpectedly but didnt. Oh Lord, I thank you.

For the sheer wonder of our creation, preservation, and redemption; for the privilege of prayer, the gift of the Spirit, and the gifts of the Spirit; for the everlasting arms beneath us; the watchful eye above us, the friends around us, and the trust within us. Oh Lord, I thank you.

For seed time and harvest and food enough; for every good nights sleep and every good days work, every good friend and every grand sunset; for warm memories of the past, and the promise of an eternal tomorrow; for the eyes to see beauty, ears to hear a birds songs, hands to hold someone else's, and for someone else's hand to hold. Oh Lord, I thank you.

For all persons whose love for us is unconditional, and in whose presence we can drop all pretense, be ourselves, and know we shall be accepted; for the one who calls us long distance, and the ones that call us darling, and the ones who calls us Dad and Mom, and for the One who shall one day call us into eternity. Oh Lord, I thank you.

and of course for paco! for regained strength, for healing, for the miracle of organ donation, for mindy and the rest of my family, for doctors and surgeons, for nurses and meds, for lots of urine and the disappearance of 'cankles', for scar creams and 'tank-inis', and for a husband who has loved me unconditionally through it all.

Hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving.

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show and tell vol. 3

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Another thing to show off:

this is a shadowbox i made. it is filled with the gown and hat he wore, little booties we received, his funeral program, his crib card, hospital bracelet, a rose cut from the bouquet of flowers at the funeral from his grandparents, and a bib made my robb's aunt with his name embroidered on it, and the 'Son' ribbon we cut from the bouquet we got him for the funeral. And his hospital picture.

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Show and Tell vol.2

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

This is the cutest photo book ever. Selena contacted me awhile back after she stumbled across my blog and thought she recognized robb and i, turns out she designed our wedding photo book a few years back! and she offered to make one of brenham's photos, it is cute as can be and love, love, love it!!
She is working on a website to advertise her up and coming organization in which she will be making more books like these for other parents of lost babies. I will be sure to pass that along as it comes!
Thanks Selena!



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Show and Tell vol.1

Friday, November 21, 2008


We have been so graciously blessed by so many of you over the last few months since Brenhams passing in many ways. Many of you have used your creativity and talents to bless us with remembrances of him and I just wanted to start a little 'show and tell' series over the next few days to show them off.



This is a life size doll of brenham made by sandy e.






(he looks so tiny in his crib)

Sandy E. started her own business awhile back where she would make dolls for parents of preemie babies and has since passed the business on to someone else but she so generously offered to dig out all of her supplies to make us a doll of brenham. she used his exact measurements and weight to create this awesome reminder for us. the first time i saw it and held him, it brought back so many feelings and memories of when we were holding brenham in our arms so many months ago. I love to show it to people who never got the chance to hold or meet brenham so they can see just how tiny he was. And whenever my arms ache to hold him again i go and grab him out of his crib and hold him for awhile. Thanks again sandy for this beautiful gift. You've got so much talent!


Brenham is one loved little boy!

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just what i needed

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

yesterday my sister lisa treated me and mindy to a spa day (she and my mom came too)! We all got facials, manicures and pedicures! We had a great time and it was just what i needed! Thanks again Lisa! Don't I have the best sisters EVER?!? me and mindy
mom and lisa getting their pedis!

me and mindy before our facials!

We are already planning our next spa day!!

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I think i know whats going on here

Monday, November 17, 2008

it took robb finding me sobbing in the shower at 12:15 last night for me to realize something is not right here. I came to the conclusion that i never had the chance to fully grieve the loss of brenham. 27 days after he died my kidneys failed and i had to focus on fighting for my own life instead of the loss of my son's.
The last 6 weeks I have been celebrating my transplant, rejoicing over my new life. But all along I have been pushing the grief away. And its been brewing and intensifying this whole time.
And it took all of last weeks bad news to make it all come to the surface again. Not a fun place to be. Back to square one. Lets hope I'm not here too long.
Thank you so much for your prayers and encouraging comments. They are helping.

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its been a rough week

Sunday, November 16, 2008

This week has been filled with so much sadness, sin and sorrow. My heart is heavy and I have drifted back into that slimy pit, the one i just pulled myself out of. One step forward, two steps back.
I know many of you have been praying for my sweet friend Nicole. I had the privilege of spending time with her this past week and getting to know dylan, who will be making his brief arrival on this earth very soon. I am trying to stay strong but i cant understand why God allowed dylan to be sick and why he wont be around for longer than a moment.

Others I know just had there lives flipped upside down and their hearts will never be the same. They are broken, crushed and hurt, and so are we.

I am angry. So many people have been put through the terrible loss of a child. It's been happening far too often around me lately and the hurt all comes flooding back. I have fallen, and i have been thrown back into the pit of sorrow.
I am trying to trust that God is doing the right thing in these peoples lives, and that He has our best interest at heart. I know that the God of the Universe will do the right thing. He is complete perfection. all wise. only good.
But, it doesnt feel like this is the right thing. I need your prayers, your encouragement.
"lift me out of this slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. set my feet on a rock and give me a firm place to stand. put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to You, my God. cause many to see and put their trust in You, Lord." Psalm 40:2-3

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Saturday, November 15, 2008

i've been tagged (again)...click here to read the original tag post.

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

for those of you who asked..click here for directions on how to make the plate clock.

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Drum roll please....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

And the winner is






Patrice!!
Yea, I am so excited, Patrice designed my new blog layout awhile ago so I am super excited to be able to give you a plate clock!

I will be contacting you in the next few days, once I get a chance to pick out some plates for you to choose from!

I wish you all could have won, maybe we'll do something like this again sometime!

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Answers to the Guessing Game.

Y'all dida great job guessing, i am super-duper impressed! This was fun!

Here are the right answers:

1.Paco is the name of my kidney! Good work everyone!

2. I woke up at 7:40 am on Monday, I gave points to everyone who guessed in the 7:00-8:00 range

3. Paco is located on the RIGHT side of my lower abdomen.

"right here"

(not sure what that is sticking out of my head:)

4. there are 21 total diamonds. 9 in my engagement ring and 12 channel set in the band. ( i gave points to any guesses close to that!

5. Brenham was 13.4 ounces of cuteness!
6.The correct guesses were... candy, plate clock supplies, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and laundry detergent,
7. I had the pick and pair lunch, cheese broccoli soup and fried chicken salad, I gave points to anyone who guessed any sort of soup or salad
8.Redken is the brand of choice. See...I may have an obsession.

9. If Brenham would have been a girl her name would have started with an “E”. We have another girl name we like better now, but im still not sharing what it was :)
10. 7 surgeries in 7 months!
11. Pacey, "Pacey Boy", "Cuter-Bug", "Lovie", "Naughty-Love" I would have accepted them all!
12. Brenham's original due date was July 7, 2008

The winner will be announced tonight!! Is the suspense killing you?!?!

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I had a check up at the doctor in Grand Rapids yesterday, it seems like everything is going well, creatinine is 1.4 and my medication levels are finally where they need to be. He also commented on how small my incision is! he said its the smallest he has ever, EVER seen and about half the size of the ones they do there! Love that! I cant imagine it being twice that long, I am glad its not. I am healing up nicely, I still get a little sore at the end of the day or if i am out and about for a long period of time but thats to be expected. Its been 5 weeks since the transplant!! Woot Woot!!

Winner of the guessing game will be announced soon! Stay tuned!

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Blog Readers!!

Monday, November 10, 2008

It’s a guessing game.

Below is a list of random questions for all you readers to guess the answers to. Some questions you may be able to dig around for the answers and some will be strictly guesses. Answer the questions in the comments section. For every correct answer you guess your name will be put in a hat and I will draw a winner so be sure to leave an email address so I can contact you. There is prize and trust me it will be worth your TIME (hint hint)!

1. Who is Paco?
2. What time did I wake up today?
3. Was my new kidney placed on the right or left side?
4. How many diamonds are in my wedding ring set? (engagement ring and wedding band combined)
5. How much did Brenham weigh?
6. The other day I went to the dollar store and bought 17 items, guess one of those items.
7. What did I order at applebees for lunch today?
8 What brand of hair products do I use?
9. If Brenham would have been a girl what would we have named her? (i'll give you points if you get the first initial right!)
10. how many surgeries have I had within a 7 month time frame?
11. whats my doggies name?
12.when was brenhams original due date?

Have fun. And Good Luck!

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Craft Night

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Last week I had my girls over for craft night, we made clocks out of dinner plates. check 'em out!

whoa! motion shot.









Stay tuned to find out how you can get a plate clock of your very own!



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