who's the fairest of them all?

I should be sound asleep right now, as it is a dialysis day, but i just cant sleep, so i thought i would write down some thoughts.

Being in the beauty industry i focus a lot (maybe too much) on my physical appearance. Lately no matter how much time i spend in front of the mirror i just cant get myself to look the way i want. Tonight as i sat in the bath tub i starred at my body in disgust. I cant remember the last time i felt good about the way i looked. I have this image in my head of the way i should look....pregnant and glowing. But i couldn't be further from that right now.

Those of you who know and see me regularly have probably noticed my recent weight loss...i am aware...and i hate it. The 34-week pregnant katie should be 40 pounds heavier right now but i am not. And i am constantly reminded of that every time i look in the mirror. Will i ever feel good about myself again?

I am not sure why i am sharing this...i guess i just need some prayers, for me to be content with what i can not change..in every area of my life, not just this.