Thanks for your questions, it was nice to have them all in one place so i don't miss any.
Here we go:
~I noticed that you are crafty and I am working on some projects for christmas. I will probably be at fields fabric and hobby lobby on friday. Can I pick up anything for you? I am going to try to make some crayon keepers and cute bags to match for my niece and daughter. (Wish me luck)
Thank-you for your offer, i have actually been able to make a couple of stops myself at hobby lobby this week (love that store)! Good luck on the christmas projects, sounds like they will be cute!
~Are you on any diet restrictions? Would you prefer breakfast foods or dinner foods?
I am no longer on any diet restrictions, yipee! Hmm, breakfast or dinner, thats a toss up we really like them both!
~ If a child at my home is starting to develop a cough is it still safe to drop off food? If I use every sanitary caution?
Thank-you that is so thoughtful of you! Like you said just use sanitary caution!
~At this point post transplant what are you able to do? Are you able to go out a lot? Or do you just need to stay in and rest at all times? Little bit of both?
At this point I just have to be careful not to over-do it and make sure i moderate my activity with adequate time to rest in between. My body has been working really hard at healing so I still get really tired but I have been getting out of the house a little bit each day which has been so nice.
As far as limitations go I cant exercise for another 4 weeks for sure until that pocket of fluid on top of my kidney goes away. No lifting anything over 10 lbs, limit stairs as much as possible. thats about it.
~How is your sister doing?
Mindy has not been feeling quite herself lately, but we're not exactly sure why. she may have overdone it or maybe its part of the normal process. Either way we are praying for her to feel 100% real soon. Thank you for asking.
~are you or will you be able to work again? Or are you more restricted post transplant about who you are around and where you can be?
I am not working yet, as long as everything continues to go well i am planning on going back the first part of next year and just slowly get back into it and see how it goes. I'll have to be careful not to be exposed to illness or get run down by being too busy. What's nice is that I do hair from my house so i can make my own schedule and my other job at a home decor shop is very flexible as well. I'm very lucky with that!
~Where do you live? I'm wondering how long after Brenham was born that you discovered you needed a kidney transplant?
We live in Michigan, I could show you where exactly by pointing to my hand but we Michiganders get mocked for doing that! Brenham was born on February 29, 2008 and the day I was told i needed a kidney transplant was April 1, 2008 (bad april fool's day joke huh?)
~ do you have any specific prayer requests other than the general "to feel better"?
I do have some specifics, thanks for asking! Please continue to pray that Paco will continue to work a long long time, we are hoping for the rest of my life. And for no episodes of rejection, that the disease will not come back in the new kidney, that all my labs continue to be strong. For my body to stay healthy and that i will be able to stay clear of illnesses. Please pray Mindy. And please pray prayers of praise and thanksgiving everyday for the miracle of life i have been given I cannot say that enough!
~Your new kidney is working GREAT (oh the joy of that) but what happen to yours. Did they take your out to make room for the new one or do they stay there and just die and go away.
My old diseased kidneys are still there, they are probably still functioning a little bit but eventually they will catch on that they arent really needed anymore and they will shrivel up and completely shut down. There was no reason to take them out, it just makes for a harder recovery. So i actually have 3 kidneys! Great question!
~My question is for you and Robb. Over this past 8 months what is your most favorite moment?
Oh a very good question, make us think! I have a few but my most favorite moment was when i woke up from surgery and the first thing robb told me was "it's working!" and joy filled my heart. i still get chocked up when i think of that exact moment of learning i had just been granted a miracle! How cool is that?!?
Robb's favorite moment:
Seeing Katie back to normal, smiling and having fun. (his words)(robb is kinda sleeping right now, i might have to ask him to elaborate on that later when he is more with it!)
~What happened to the bad kidney? Does someone have it a jar like on Grey's Anatomy?
Both of my bad kidneys are still in there, that would be pretty cool though to have them in a jar!!
~What about your sister and future children, does that affect her?
Nope it shouldnt affect her at all, as long as she doesnt develop high blood pressure or anything she should be able to have normal pregnancies and deliveries when the time is right, they suggest to wait a year for everything to completely heal.
~Are you a coffee drinker?
Yes I am mostly into lattes or mochas or something but i'll do the good ole fashioned coffee too!
~This is going to be the first Holidays coming up without Brenham, how can I pray for you to make this time easier for yourself and Robb?
You know, last Christmas I remember going to all the parties and thinking about how much more fun christmas 2008 would be with little baby Lubbers around lighting up the room, opening his presents would have been more fun than opening our own.
It will be so hard.
Last Thanksgiving I specifically remember being at robb's aunt and uncles house for dinner and we all wrote down what we were thankful for on leaves cut out of construction paper, since 2 babies had been born into that family that year several of them put down their children. i wanted to write that too but since we hadnt shared the news of our pregnancy at that point yet i didnt but i thought that would for sure be number one on the list for thanksgiving 20o8, it still will be just not the way i had thought.
I dont know what will make it easier. Probably nothing, just one of those things you gotta get thru. Prayers would be appreciated.
~Who kept you puppy dog for you while you were away and was he happy to see you when you got home?
Robb's parents watched the dog for the majority of the time we were gone other than during the time they were in MN with us, then robbs cousins watched him. He was in great hands!
He was so happy to see us and now he wont leave my side, i think he is worried i'm going to leave him again!
~My twin daughters were due this coming Monday. This is a very hard time for me and I know you understand that. Is there a special way that you honored Brenham on your due date? Do you have any suggestions on how to get through this difficult day?
Krista, and anyone else with an upcoming expected due date, first of all know that i am praying for this. I wish I had a magic cure for the pain you have been and will be feeling. I wish I could tell you "it wont be so bad". It will be. For me, the day itself went ok. I thought about it constantly but tried to keep myself busy. I kept telling myself "you dont know for sure that this would have been the day he would have come" and i am sure you can relate to that especially with twins. But that didnt help. I thought that once that day was over all the thoughts of "i should be 30, 36, 38...etc. weeks pregnant today" and the feelings that went along with them would be gone, but that was not true because now you will start thinking "they would be 2, 4, 6 weeks old today" and so forth. Just do whatever you need to do to get through the day. I know a lot of people thought i was crazy but i bought an "its a boy" balloon and brought it to his grave, just because i wanted one. It was silly, but it was something that made his birth real to me, and i wanted his birth to be on his due date so thats what i did. I dont know, thats about it. Whatever you do, it will be special. I'll be praying.
~How did you choose Brenham's name?
I saw the name Brenham on another blog that i stumbled across when i was very newly pregnant. I liked it because it was different but not what i consider to be "weird". I mentioned it to robb but he wasnt so sure about it so we kinda forgot about it and kept searching. The week of brenhams birth robb was out of town on a business meeting and on the day he came home 9the day before brenham was born) he told me he was thinking a lot about boy names on the plane ride and that he really did like brenham, so we decided on it that night. The next day he came so brenham it was. we werent 100% on it but now we love it and its so "him".

Ok and the question everyone has been dying to know....I like to leave y'all in suspense!
I've gotten several questions all similar to this one, so i hope this sums it all up:

~ I'm wondering what you are thinking about kids. Have you and Robb even had a chance to think about that yet with everything else going on? Would you ever consider having a baby through a surrogate? If you can't have your own children, do you think you would adopt?

ok, well. the first drs i saw in grand rapids back in april told us we shouldn't have children after transplant, that they didnt think my body could carry a baby and would jeopardize the new kidney, but my OB dr. always said it would be fine as long as we waited a few years after transplant. When we went to Mayo Clinic for a second opinion the dr. we saw there spent a great deal of her time discussing this with us, she said "absolutely, go for it, as long as everything is going well a few years after transplant" and we let the drs know so i can get on 'pregnancy safe' meds. she even told us we could get pregnant while i was on PD if we wanted. My PD nurse said "absolutely NO getting pregnant while on PD". The drs we talked to after transplant have said, "it should be fine but there are always risks, especially when you take into consideration what happened last time."

So that answers your question right?? haha. needless to say we are confused.

Our hearts long to have our own children someday and we pray for that gift everyday but we also want to be smart and make sure that Paco will be safe for a long long time. But being pregnant again (at least one more time) is my biggest dream and we are willing to do whatever it takes to have that. In due time. And we know that with God ALL things are possible.
Right now, we are considering other ways to expand our family more quickly and hopefully down the road sometime we will be pregnant again. It would be a shame not to have a little robb or katie jr. here on earth!
Our hearts have been opened to adoption, we know we would be able to provide so much to a child who's biological parents could not. and we would also be thrilled to have a surrogate carry our baby for us if i can't. This is definitely always in our prayers everyday and we are excited to see what God has in store for our family! And i hope you'll stick around for the journey. i cant wait to share it with all of you! oh happy day!

My body naturally sees my new kidney as a foreign object and is constantly trying to attack it. To prevent this from happening I right away received very high doses of anti-rejection meds while i was still on the operating table. Right now I am on 3 different types of anti-rejection pills that kill off your immune system so its not as likly to attack it. I take those twice a day along with some other anti-viral, anti-bacterial, acid reducers, etc. I currently take 24 pills a day, but that has been and will be constantly adjusted as time goes on. Surprisingly, this is a lot less than i was taking while on dialysis.

my weekly pill organizer

a 30 day supply

During the first week after transplant all those meds did a number on my body, they made me so sick i ended up losing an average of 3 lbs a day for a week... 21 lbs. I totally would have been safe for elimination that week on "the biggest loser"!
But since that week, i have been feeling great, no side effects to date. Praise God. I've always had a pretty good appetite but nothing compared to what it is now, so needless to say the weight has been coming back, only 11 more pounds to gain back.

I will be on anti-rejection pills for the rest of the life of the kidney but slowly tapered off to a lower dose.
I feel great, like a new woman! Thanks for the questions, I'm working on the rest of them. If anyone has anymore you can still post them in the comments section of that post, i will keep checking it.

Should we do another questions and answers post? Thanks everyone for your questions, i will answer them but just wanted to get 'em all covered at once so if anyone has any leave 'em in the comments section and i will answer them shortly! I had a lot of fun last time!
They can be about (mostly) anything!

Now you see them....

Now you dont....

My ports are gone! The one in my stomach got taken out while i was on the operating table, so i dont remember that and the one in my chest was done a few weeks later in the clinic, and boy was that nasty. The Dr. just numbed it locally, but not enough so i could feel it. And since it was in for so long there was lots of scar tissue growing around it that he had to rip, cut and stretch away at, ouchy. It took about 25 minutes to come out, the dr. was sweating he was pulling at that thing so hard. It was not fun but i am so glad they are out!

I wasn't joking when i said i was going to burn all of my dialysis stuff after the transplant!
Welcome to the burning ceremonies....

My old meds (do you like my jammies?!?!)

the blanket i brought to dialysis

the dialysis bag

roasting the PD solution bag over the fire :)

all gone!!

hallelujah!

but his reaction was worth the wait

we had so many dreams for that baby, and we were thrilled. looking back, exactly one year later i now realize really how much those two pink lines have changed our lives.

Now that I am back I am so anxious to see friends and family around again but there is something I have to ask of you if you are planning a visit:

Please refrain from coming over if you are currently sick and have not been symptom-free for at least 5 days, if you live with someone who is sick, or have been in close contact with someone who is sick.

After transplant in order to keep my body from attacking Paco i have been put on lots of immunosuppresent drugs. These drugs kill your body's immune system therefore making it very easy to catch illnesses and very hard to fight them off. Getting sick could lead to hospitalization or other serious complications.

We are so blessed to have so many friends and family members be so supportive and thoughtful, please understand that this post isn't meant to offend anyone or imply in any way that we don't completely appreciate all of the love, good wishes and acts of kindness that have been done on our behalf. Thanks for your understanding!

Yesterdays testing included some blood work, a renal clearance test and an ultrasound. The blood work turned out pretty good other than my creatinine level has gone up to 1.5 hence the reasoning for the other two tests. The renal clearance test results come back with a score anywhere from 1-60+. Anything under 20 means you need dialysis(ugh i hate that word) 20-40 is ok. 40-60 is the range they want me in and 60+ is great. Mine came back at 55, no problem there. The last test was the ultrasound to look for lots of different things that could be contributing to my increased creatinine level, blood flow, blocked ureter, etc. That came back showing a small pocket of fluid right on top of Paco that is probably compressing the kidney and causing it to not filter as well as it did. They think it is a result from the surgeries and should clear up on its own. So I was given the go ahead to come home as long as i keep resting. I have blood work again tomorrow. We wont get the results back as quickly as we did at Mayo but i will be sure to keep you posted. Have I mentioned how good it is to be home?

We're home!! Our house has never felt so big!! It feels so good.
I am exhausted, but just wanted to give an update!
Good night!

Woot Woot! Our flight leaves tonight at 8:30 and we should be back to Michigan around 10:30! I cant wait!!

We are very anxious to get home, it seems like we have been here forever. Hopefully we will be leaving wednesday night. They want me to do a few more tests before I leave b/c my creatinine level has been kinda wacky again so if those turn out ok, we get dismissed. If not i will have to stay even longer for them to figure out what is wrong :( Please keep that in your prayers.
I cant wait to be back home, sleep in my own bed and see familiar faces again.

I had such a sense of peace over me during those hours of waiting before surgery, I felt all of your prayers and could feel God's presence with us right in that pre-op room that day. While listening to my i-pod alone in the room after Mindy had been wheeled out God sent me a sign that everything was going to be ok. The first song that played lyrics said, "there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain and no more fears," Now I know that "day" is referring to the day we get to Heaven but for me right at that moment it was a promise that this was going to be the start of a new beginning. This transplant was going to be the end of so much heartache and the beginning of so much joy. He was there.

On that friday after surgery when I first heard the news that something was horribly wrong, and i needed to be rushed into surgery I panicked and thought, "are you kidding me God, why? why are you doing this?" I prayed and prayed that Paco would be ok and they would fix whatever was wrong. Again, while laying on the gurney waiting to be wheeled into surgery, I felt that same peace. My thoughts turned to this video that a friend had emailed me several days prior. I hadn't given it much thought until then but wow, what another great reminder. God wanted me there for some reason, I don't know what but that's ok, I just had to trust. So that's what I did, I trusted in Him that this was His plan for me, this is where I am supposed to be right here, right now. He was there.

"You were there, You were there during historys darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be the Risen Lamb of God" ~You Were There, Avalon

"With every breath I take in I'll tell you I'm grateful again. And the storm may swell even then it is well and You are good. So how can I thank You? And what can I bring? What can a poor man lay at the feet of a King?
So I'll sing you a love song. It's all that I have to tell You I'm grateful for holding my life in Your hands." ~ You are Good, Point of Grace

I cannot thank you all enough for being on your knees in prayer for me during this time. I am so glad that you all got to be a part of this story and I appreciate your continued prayers through the rest of it.

It's all about kidney transplants, which we thought was quiet a coincidence, but you know what is even weirder? Meridith dropped the kidney on the floor!! Remember this?



Anyways, it has been very interesting (and a little inaccurate) to watch. I wonder if the surgical team clapped when my kidney "pinked up" too?

Anybody watch it??

Have I won?
This has been a long road of suffering, I have been through a lot, the devastating loss of a child, life-threatening health issues, bad news after bad news. A familiar story of a faithful servant Job comes to mind, and reminds me that my struggles werent so bad and my journey through it not near as graceful as Job.
I have been reading a devotional book on Job and though i wish i read it earlier, it is still helpful to me and may be to some of you of there too.

"Job was a man who lived in Uz. He was honest inside and out, a man of his word, who was totally devoted to God and hated evil with a passion. He had seven sons and three daughters. He was also very wealthy—seven thousand head of sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred teams of oxen, five hundred donkeys, and a huge staff of servants—the most influential man in all the East!" Job 1:1-3 The Message
"Sometime later, while Job's children were having one of their parties at the home of the oldest son, a messenger came to Job and said, "The oxen were plowing and the donkeys grazing in the field next to us when Sabeans attacked. They stole the animals and killed the field hands. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened."
While he was still talking, another messenger arrived and said, "Bolts of lightning struck the sheep and the shepherds and fried them—burned them to a crisp. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened." While he was still talking, another messenger arrived and said, "Chaldeans coming from three directions raided the camels and massacred the camel drivers. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened."
While he was still talking, another messenger arrived and said, "Your children were having a party at the home of the oldest brother when a tornado swept in off the desert and struck the house. It collapsed on the young people and they died. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened." Job 1:15-19 The Message

I cant possibly imagine, in one day every single nightmare exploded into reality and hit him like a ton of bricks. All at once, Job's family and fortune was swept away. His job, his employees, his property, his income, his retirement and everything he worked so hard for...gone.
I know the pain of losing a child but can not fathom the agony of losing ten, all at once.
I often question God and why he would allow this to happen to one of His most faithful servants? Why didn't He protect Job? What was He thinking?
What I learned was that God had this whole journey of sorrow planned out for Job (and me) birthed out of an intriguing conversation He had with God.

"God said to Satan, "Have you noticed my friend Job? There's no one quite like him—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil."
Satan retorted, "So do you think Job does all that out of the sheer goodness of his heart? Why, no one ever had it so good! You pamper him like a pet, make sure nothing bad ever happens to him or his family or his possessions, bless everything he does—he can't lose!
"But what do you think would happen if you reached down and took away everything that is his? He'd curse you right to your face, that's what."
God replied, "We'll see. Go ahead—do what you want with all that is his. Just don't hurt him." Then Satan left the presence of God. " Job 1:8-12 The Message

The part that encourages me is how Job responded to all of this
" Job got to his feet, ripped his robe, shaved his head, then fell to the ground and worshiped: Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked I'll return to the womb of the earth.God gives, God takes. God's name be ever blessed.
Not once through all this did Job sin; not once did he blame God." Job 1-20-22

Yeah Job!! Well done! Crushed, broken and aching, Job STILL worshiped God.

Yeah God! Satan lost, God won!

So he just won the battle, he responded by worshiping God even through all his losses. Then Satan gears up for round two... health issues...sounding familiar? (although my response far less graceful)

"Then God said to Satan, "Have you noticed my friend Job? There's no one quite like him, is there—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil? He still has a firm grip on his integrity! You tried to trick me into destroying him, but it didn't work."
Satan answered, "A human would do anything to save his life. But what do you think would happen if you reached down and took away his health? He'd curse you to your face, that's what."
God said, "All right. Go ahead—you can do what you like with him. But mind you, don't kill him." Job 2- 3-6 The Message

Job's response to part 2:

His wife said, "Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!"
He told her, "You're talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?"
Not once through all this did Job sin. He said nothing against God." Job 2:9-10 The Message

Job STILL worshiped God! Job lost everything but refused to give up. God was worth it!

Yeah Job again, Satan lost again. God won again, and Satan was shut up!

There are forty more chapters in the book of Job and do you know how many times Satan was mentioned after the first to chapters?? NONE!!! ZIP!!! ZERO!!

Satan was defeated, I love it!!
Being reminded of this makes me think, have I won? Am I finally victorious? Did I beat Satan? Will he leave me alone now?

I hope and pray that this is it, but if not it will be my goal to praise him in the storm, to fight the good fight and keep the faith!! Just like Job.

Thank you all so much for the cards, flowers and gift packages. I dont think this hotel has ever seen so much mail for one girl!! One day i got 18 cards!! It is definitely helping with the homesickness to hear from friends and family.

We appreciate your thoughtfulness so much, you sure know how to make a girl feel loved!!

Miss you all!!

I am still here, thanks for being concerned. I have a new post brewing in my mind for the past few days, but i want to make sure it is just right so i am still thinking and praying for the right words and for the Lord's message to shine thru!
So keep checking in!

Just a quick update cuz i feel bad i left you hanging: Robb's parents arrived here on wednesday night and have been keeping us company and making sure we have everything we need. i have been going in bright and early every morning for blood work and then have an appointment with the doctor everyday. they sure are keeping an eye on me! Everything is going great, paco is still kicking toxin butt, my creatnine level is 1.2 down from 12? the day of surgery! Woot! They are very pleased with that, on the high side of normal range but the low side of transplanted range!!
Still working on getting the right dosing for all my meds figured out and dealing with some less than pleasant side effects. My pain is manageable, the incision is healing up nicely.

hmm...anything i am forgetting? any questions? just ask!!