I am very proud of myself and of what i accomplished today. I know it may not seem like a big deal but I did it all without crying! First of all, I finally came to terms with the fact that by the next time I am pregnant the maternity clothes i have now wont be so stylish anymore, so i got up the courage to return them (the unworn ones of course, which was quite a few since i just went maternity clothes shopping for the first time just 3 days before Brenham was born). That is something i have been wanting to do for a while but just couldn't. But now they are mostly gone. I don't even know why i care, they weren't even that cute. I guess its more of a sentimental thing.
Then, we went and ordered a headstone for Brenham. Another thing i have been wanting to do. I know there isn't a rush to do something like that it just felt so empty there when we visited. It still won't be in for another 6 weeks but at least its ordered. That was not fun, for one thing the lady there was like a stone (haha, get it!), she showed no compassion. That just made it hard, i know its her job and she does it everyday, no big deal. But it was a huge deal to me. I never ever want anybody to have to pick out their child's headstone again. If only i had the power to make that happen. It is just horrible, back to the fact that i should be picking out bibs and blankies right now but instead my baby's headstone.
We recently started a budget and i was feeling pretty good about it this morning after returning $70 worth of maternity clothes, but tonight, not so much anymore after paying for the headstone all in one clump. Gulp! That was ridiculous and we even had a coupon! Goodbye budget! (no, dont worry, you know who you are :) , that is what our emergency fund is for right!?!)
Anyway, on the donor note, we found out we have 3 more possible donors so far! My mom, my dad and younger sister all have O positive blood type too and we are guessing that my older sister would have it then too, but i don't know how that all works. But she will find out in a week possibly. She donated blood, Go Lisa! So it takes longer for the results than it did the rest of the family who just got a blood test. Actually, I should add that Robb and Mindy also donated blood in high school, Go Robb! Go Mindy! There now you can't say i play favorites, I know you were thinking that Mindy :) Love ya both!
So Robb gave me a much needed pep talk last night. My thoughts have been so consumed over the whole antibody thing, and I have been pretty negative about it. So from now on I am going to be positive about that. If you believe you can achieve right? So i keep telling myself, you don't have antibodies, you don't have antibodies. Say it with me, Katie doesn't have antibodies. I do believe! I pray constantly, will you join me?
You are the Giver and Sustainer of life, my life is Your hands. If it be Your will, please Lord, let my body be free from antibodies and lets get me that kidney so I can be well again. I will give You all the praise and the glory! In Your most precious name we pray, Amen