Tuesday morning my kidney specialist came into my room and told be that the biopsy of my kidney showed lots of scaring and every single cell tested showed abnormality, so basically i have chronic kidney disease and need to be on dialysis 3 times a week until i can get a transplant. The waiting list for a kidney transplant is anywhere from 3-5 years unless we find a live donor. We also found out that this was going on during my pregnancy and caused a lack of blood flow. That is why the placenta detached. That is so hard for me to deal with. I cant help but think it is my fault that Brenham didn't survive. I feel like a very bad mommy.
And even more disappointing is the fact that i can not become pregnant again until at least 2 years after the transplant. My dreams are shattered. Now i will have to face our baby's nursery almost all decked out and ready to go for a baby that will not be here for 5-7 more years. We are expecting the nursery furniture that we ordered months ago to arrive any day now. That will be a rough day. Please pray for peace as we deal with that.
But the good news is that i came home last night! Whoo-hoo! The surgery went well, but i am very sore. But at least i am home. Robb and I along with our parents are going back to the hospital today for a second opinion. My brother-in-laws' friend's mom has a son who has had a kidney transplant (got that?!) and her son goes to a kidney specialist that said he would like to re-evaluate my disease free of charge. So we figured it wouldn't hurt to get some other opinions and some more questions answered. We are praying for a miracle, nothing less!
Katie
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11 Responses to “ The Results ”
I've been following your blog and wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
A good friend of mine on the nest sent a link to your blog. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Several years ago the husband of one of my college friends donated a kidney to his mother. I pray you're able to find a donor soon!
Hugs,
Robin
Praying HARD for you guys! God still works MIRACLES!!!!
I also found your blog through the Nest and wanted to let you know how deeply sorry I am for your loss and for what you are having to go through right now. My heart just hurts for you and your husband, and I am thinking of you and praying for you.
I'll be praying for that miracle for you. Stay strong--God will provide!
I have been following your story on the nest and now your blog. I wanted to let you know that you and Robb are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for what you went thru with Brenham and now this....my heart aches for you. My hope is thru the prayers of others and your belief in the lord, you and Robb will find strength.
KatieJo...I just wanted you to know that I continue to pray for you, and you are always in my thoughts. I do pray that a donor will be found soon, so that you can be on the road to recovery.
I'm speechless with all that you have been through. You are an inspiraction and you, your husband and your family are in my prayers.
Please try not to be discouraged. First, it's very possible that you might be able to find a live donor, and not have to wait 3-5 years. Second, remember that you can always adopt a baby (or be foster parents) or find someone to surrogate for you. God works miracles, and I pray that you get a miracle soon.
My heart goes out to you and Robb, Katie. I've been following your story on the nest and you have been in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you and be with you.
Katie
I have been reading your blog, a mutual friend gave it me. You have been very brave. I have known you since you were born and even babysat you.
You have endured many difficult circiumstances in the last 6 weeks. I haven't really had a chance to tell you how sorry I am that you lost your precious baby boy. I have seen pictures of him and he was adorable. Please don't blame yourself in being a bad mom. You had no idea that your body was failing.
I also encourage you to think about adoption in the future. There are many babies out there that need to be loved by great parents- I know you and Robb would be awesome.
I will be thinking of you as you go through your dialysis.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I keep close tabs on your through your mom. It's awesome that you have your sisters and parents and in-laws as a great support system.
As your cousin-- I am proud of you and don't give up. God never gives us more than we can handle, he always provides for us.
I love Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
Take comfort in the fact that God knows you are hurting- but in the midst of all of this he will comfort and give you peace.
I am so sorry for all that you are going through. You are far from a bad mommy but no words will ever make you feel any different. Remember that Brenham lives on in your heart. I don't know if you have ever heard of the website www.belovedhearts.com, it is an interactive virtual website where you can create a memorium for your loved ones.
Please know that getting a second opinion is always a good idea as another doctor may have access to a different kind of treatment that may or may not help. You and your family are in my prayers. Good luck to you.
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