(he looks so tiny in his crib)

Sandy E. started her own business awhile back where she would make dolls for parents of preemie babies and has since passed the business on to someone else but she so generously offered to dig out all of her supplies to make us a doll of brenham. she used his exact measurements and weight to create this awesome reminder for us. the first time i saw it and held him, it brought back so many feelings and memories of when we were holding brenham in our arms so many months ago. I love to show it to people who never got the chance to hold or meet brenham so they can see just how tiny he was. And whenever my arms ache to hold him again i go and grab him out of his crib and hold him for awhile. Thanks again sandy for this beautiful gift. You've got so much talent!

it took robb finding me sobbing in the shower at 12:15 last night for me to realize something is not right here. I came to the conclusion that i never had the chance to fully grieve the loss of brenham. 27 days after he died my kidneys failed and i had to focus on fighting for my own life instead of the loss of my son's.
The last 6 weeks I have been celebrating my transplant, rejoicing over my new life. But all along I have been pushing the grief away. And its been brewing and intensifying this whole time.
And it took all of last weeks bad news to make it all come to the surface again. Not a fun place to be. Back to square one. Lets hope I'm not here too long.
Thank you so much for your prayers and encouraging comments. They are helping.

Others I know just had there lives flipped upside down and their hearts will never be the same. They are broken, crushed and hurt, and so are we.

i've been tagged (again)...click here to read the original tag post.

for those of you who asked..click here for directions on how to make the plate clock.

And the winner is






Patrice!!
Yea, I am so excited, Patrice designed my new blog layout awhile ago so I am super excited to be able to give you a plate clock!

I will be contacting you in the next few days, once I get a chance to pick out some plates for you to choose from!

I wish you all could have won, maybe we'll do something like this again sometime!

"right here"

(not sure what that is sticking out of my head:)

4. there are 21 total diamonds. 9 in my engagement ring and 12 channel set in the band. ( i gave points to any guesses close to that!

5. Brenham was 13.4 ounces of cuteness!
6.The correct guesses were... candy, plate clock supplies, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and laundry detergent,
7. I had the pick and pair lunch, cheese broccoli soup and fried chicken salad, I gave points to anyone who guessed any sort of soup or salad
8.Redken is the brand of choice. See...I may have an obsession.

9. If Brenham would have been a girl her name would have started with an “E”. We have another girl name we like better now, but im still not sharing what it was :)
10. 7 surgeries in 7 months!
11. Pacey, "Pacey Boy", "Cuter-Bug", "Lovie", "Naughty-Love" I would have accepted them all!
12. Brenham's original due date was July 7, 2008

The winner will be announced tonight!! Is the suspense killing you?!?!

I had a check up at the doctor in Grand Rapids yesterday, it seems like everything is going well, creatinine is 1.4 and my medication levels are finally where they need to be. He also commented on how small my incision is! he said its the smallest he has ever, EVER seen and about half the size of the ones they do there! Love that! I cant imagine it being twice that long, I am glad its not. I am healing up nicely, I still get a little sore at the end of the day or if i am out and about for a long period of time but thats to be expected. Its been 5 weeks since the transplant!! Woot Woot!!

It’s a guessing game.

Below is a list of random questions for all you readers to guess the answers to. Some questions you may be able to dig around for the answers and some will be strictly guesses. Answer the questions in the comments section. For every correct answer you guess your name will be put in a hat and I will draw a winner so be sure to leave an email address so I can contact you. There is prize and trust me it will be worth your TIME (hint hint)!

1. Who is Paco?
2. What time did I wake up today?
3. Was my new kidney placed on the right or left side?
4. How many diamonds are in my wedding ring set? (engagement ring and wedding band combined)
5. How much did Brenham weigh?
6. The other day I went to the dollar store and bought 17 items, guess one of those items.
7. What did I order at applebees for lunch today?
8 What brand of hair products do I use?
9. If Brenham would have been a girl what would we have named her? (i'll give you points if you get the first initial right!)
10. how many surgeries have I had within a 7 month time frame?
11. whats my doggies name?
12.when was brenhams original due date?

Have fun. And Good Luck!

Last week I had my girls over for craft night, we made clocks out of dinner plates. check 'em out!

whoa! motion shot.

Stay tuned to find out how you can get a plate clock of your very own!

Thanks for your questions, it was nice to have them all in one place so i don't miss any.
Here we go:
~I noticed that you are crafty and I am working on some projects for christmas. I will probably be at fields fabric and hobby lobby on friday. Can I pick up anything for you? I am going to try to make some crayon keepers and cute bags to match for my niece and daughter. (Wish me luck)
Thank-you for your offer, i have actually been able to make a couple of stops myself at hobby lobby this week (love that store)! Good luck on the christmas projects, sounds like they will be cute!
~Are you on any diet restrictions? Would you prefer breakfast foods or dinner foods?
I am no longer on any diet restrictions, yipee! Hmm, breakfast or dinner, thats a toss up we really like them both!
~ If a child at my home is starting to develop a cough is it still safe to drop off food? If I use every sanitary caution?
Thank-you that is so thoughtful of you! Like you said just use sanitary caution!
~At this point post transplant what are you able to do? Are you able to go out a lot? Or do you just need to stay in and rest at all times? Little bit of both?
At this point I just have to be careful not to over-do it and make sure i moderate my activity with adequate time to rest in between. My body has been working really hard at healing so I still get really tired but I have been getting out of the house a little bit each day which has been so nice.
As far as limitations go I cant exercise for another 4 weeks for sure until that pocket of fluid on top of my kidney goes away. No lifting anything over 10 lbs, limit stairs as much as possible. thats about it.
~How is your sister doing?
Mindy has not been feeling quite herself lately, but we're not exactly sure why. she may have overdone it or maybe its part of the normal process. Either way we are praying for her to feel 100% real soon. Thank you for asking.
~are you or will you be able to work again? Or are you more restricted post transplant about who you are around and where you can be?
I am not working yet, as long as everything continues to go well i am planning on going back the first part of next year and just slowly get back into it and see how it goes. I'll have to be careful not to be exposed to illness or get run down by being too busy. What's nice is that I do hair from my house so i can make my own schedule and my other job at a home decor shop is very flexible as well. I'm very lucky with that!
~Where do you live? I'm wondering how long after Brenham was born that you discovered you needed a kidney transplant?
We live in Michigan, I could show you where exactly by pointing to my hand but we Michiganders get mocked for doing that! Brenham was born on February 29, 2008 and the day I was told i needed a kidney transplant was April 1, 2008 (bad april fool's day joke huh?)
~ do you have any specific prayer requests other than the general "to feel better"?
I do have some specifics, thanks for asking! Please continue to pray that Paco will continue to work a long long time, we are hoping for the rest of my life. And for no episodes of rejection, that the disease will not come back in the new kidney, that all my labs continue to be strong. For my body to stay healthy and that i will be able to stay clear of illnesses. Please pray Mindy. And please pray prayers of praise and thanksgiving everyday for the miracle of life i have been given I cannot say that enough!
~Your new kidney is working GREAT (oh the joy of that) but what happen to yours. Did they take your out to make room for the new one or do they stay there and just die and go away.
My old diseased kidneys are still there, they are probably still functioning a little bit but eventually they will catch on that they arent really needed anymore and they will shrivel up and completely shut down. There was no reason to take them out, it just makes for a harder recovery. So i actually have 3 kidneys! Great question!
~My question is for you and Robb. Over this past 8 months what is your most favorite moment?
Oh a very good question, make us think! I have a few but my most favorite moment was when i woke up from surgery and the first thing robb told me was "it's working!" and joy filled my heart. i still get chocked up when i think of that exact moment of learning i had just been granted a miracle! How cool is that?!?
Robb's favorite moment:
Seeing Katie back to normal, smiling and having fun. (his words)(robb is kinda sleeping right now, i might have to ask him to elaborate on that later when he is more with it!)
~What happened to the bad kidney? Does someone have it a jar like on Grey's Anatomy?
Both of my bad kidneys are still in there, that would be pretty cool though to have them in a jar!!
~What about your sister and future children, does that affect her?
Nope it shouldnt affect her at all, as long as she doesnt develop high blood pressure or anything she should be able to have normal pregnancies and deliveries when the time is right, they suggest to wait a year for everything to completely heal.
~Are you a coffee drinker?
Yes I am mostly into lattes or mochas or something but i'll do the good ole fashioned coffee too!
~This is going to be the first Holidays coming up without Brenham, how can I pray for you to make this time easier for yourself and Robb?
You know, last Christmas I remember going to all the parties and thinking about how much more fun christmas 2008 would be with little baby Lubbers around lighting up the room, opening his presents would have been more fun than opening our own.
It will be so hard.
Last Thanksgiving I specifically remember being at robb's aunt and uncles house for dinner and we all wrote down what we were thankful for on leaves cut out of construction paper, since 2 babies had been born into that family that year several of them put down their children. i wanted to write that too but since we hadnt shared the news of our pregnancy at that point yet i didnt but i thought that would for sure be number one on the list for thanksgiving 20o8, it still will be just not the way i had thought.
I dont know what will make it easier. Probably nothing, just one of those things you gotta get thru. Prayers would be appreciated.
~Who kept you puppy dog for you while you were away and was he happy to see you when you got home?
Robb's parents watched the dog for the majority of the time we were gone other than during the time they were in MN with us, then robbs cousins watched him. He was in great hands!
He was so happy to see us and now he wont leave my side, i think he is worried i'm going to leave him again!
~My twin daughters were due this coming Monday. This is a very hard time for me and I know you understand that. Is there a special way that you honored Brenham on your due date? Do you have any suggestions on how to get through this difficult day?
Krista, and anyone else with an upcoming expected due date, first of all know that i am praying for this. I wish I had a magic cure for the pain you have been and will be feeling. I wish I could tell you "it wont be so bad". It will be. For me, the day itself went ok. I thought about it constantly but tried to keep myself busy. I kept telling myself "you dont know for sure that this would have been the day he would have come" and i am sure you can relate to that especially with twins. But that didnt help. I thought that once that day was over all the thoughts of "i should be 30, 36, 38...etc. weeks pregnant today" and the feelings that went along with them would be gone, but that was not true because now you will start thinking "they would be 2, 4, 6 weeks old today" and so forth. Just do whatever you need to do to get through the day. I know a lot of people thought i was crazy but i bought an "its a boy" balloon and brought it to his grave, just because i wanted one. It was silly, but it was something that made his birth real to me, and i wanted his birth to be on his due date so thats what i did. I dont know, thats about it. Whatever you do, it will be special. I'll be praying.
~How did you choose Brenham's name?
I saw the name Brenham on another blog that i stumbled across when i was very newly pregnant. I liked it because it was different but not what i consider to be "weird". I mentioned it to robb but he wasnt so sure about it so we kinda forgot about it and kept searching. The week of brenhams birth robb was out of town on a business meeting and on the day he came home 9the day before brenham was born) he told me he was thinking a lot about boy names on the plane ride and that he really did like brenham, so we decided on it that night. The next day he came so brenham it was. we werent 100% on it but now we love it and its so "him".

Ok and the question everyone has been dying to know....I like to leave y'all in suspense!
I've gotten several questions all similar to this one, so i hope this sums it all up:

~ I'm wondering what you are thinking about kids. Have you and Robb even had a chance to think about that yet with everything else going on? Would you ever consider having a baby through a surrogate? If you can't have your own children, do you think you would adopt?

ok, well. the first drs i saw in grand rapids back in april told us we shouldn't have children after transplant, that they didnt think my body could carry a baby and would jeopardize the new kidney, but my OB dr. always said it would be fine as long as we waited a few years after transplant. When we went to Mayo Clinic for a second opinion the dr. we saw there spent a great deal of her time discussing this with us, she said "absolutely, go for it, as long as everything is going well a few years after transplant" and we let the drs know so i can get on 'pregnancy safe' meds. she even told us we could get pregnant while i was on PD if we wanted. My PD nurse said "absolutely NO getting pregnant while on PD". The drs we talked to after transplant have said, "it should be fine but there are always risks, especially when you take into consideration what happened last time."

So that answers your question right?? haha. needless to say we are confused.

Our hearts long to have our own children someday and we pray for that gift everyday but we also want to be smart and make sure that Paco will be safe for a long long time. But being pregnant again (at least one more time) is my biggest dream and we are willing to do whatever it takes to have that. In due time. And we know that with God ALL things are possible.
Right now, we are considering other ways to expand our family more quickly and hopefully down the road sometime we will be pregnant again. It would be a shame not to have a little robb or katie jr. here on earth!
Our hearts have been opened to adoption, we know we would be able to provide so much to a child who's biological parents could not. and we would also be thrilled to have a surrogate carry our baby for us if i can't. This is definitely always in our prayers everyday and we are excited to see what God has in store for our family! And i hope you'll stick around for the journey. i cant wait to share it with all of you! oh happy day!

My body naturally sees my new kidney as a foreign object and is constantly trying to attack it. To prevent this from happening I right away received very high doses of anti-rejection meds while i was still on the operating table. Right now I am on 3 different types of anti-rejection pills that kill off your immune system so its not as likly to attack it. I take those twice a day along with some other anti-viral, anti-bacterial, acid reducers, etc. I currently take 24 pills a day, but that has been and will be constantly adjusted as time goes on. Surprisingly, this is a lot less than i was taking while on dialysis.

my weekly pill organizer

a 30 day supply

During the first week after transplant all those meds did a number on my body, they made me so sick i ended up losing an average of 3 lbs a day for a week... 21 lbs. I totally would have been safe for elimination that week on "the biggest loser"!
But since that week, i have been feeling great, no side effects to date. Praise God. I've always had a pretty good appetite but nothing compared to what it is now, so needless to say the weight has been coming back, only 11 more pounds to gain back.

I will be on anti-rejection pills for the rest of the life of the kidney but slowly tapered off to a lower dose.
I feel great, like a new woman! Thanks for the questions, I'm working on the rest of them. If anyone has anymore you can still post them in the comments section of that post, i will keep checking it.

Should we do another questions and answers post? Thanks everyone for your questions, i will answer them but just wanted to get 'em all covered at once so if anyone has any leave 'em in the comments section and i will answer them shortly! I had a lot of fun last time!
They can be about (mostly) anything!

Now you see them....

Now you dont....

My ports are gone! The one in my stomach got taken out while i was on the operating table, so i dont remember that and the one in my chest was done a few weeks later in the clinic, and boy was that nasty. The Dr. just numbed it locally, but not enough so i could feel it. And since it was in for so long there was lots of scar tissue growing around it that he had to rip, cut and stretch away at, ouchy. It took about 25 minutes to come out, the dr. was sweating he was pulling at that thing so hard. It was not fun but i am so glad they are out!

I wasn't joking when i said i was going to burn all of my dialysis stuff after the transplant!
Welcome to the burning ceremonies....

My old meds (do you like my jammies?!?!)

the blanket i brought to dialysis

the dialysis bag

roasting the PD solution bag over the fire :)

all gone!!

hallelujah!

but his reaction was worth the wait

we had so many dreams for that baby, and we were thrilled. looking back, exactly one year later i now realize really how much those two pink lines have changed our lives.

Now that I am back I am so anxious to see friends and family around again but there is something I have to ask of you if you are planning a visit:

Please refrain from coming over if you are currently sick and have not been symptom-free for at least 5 days, if you live with someone who is sick, or have been in close contact with someone who is sick.

After transplant in order to keep my body from attacking Paco i have been put on lots of immunosuppresent drugs. These drugs kill your body's immune system therefore making it very easy to catch illnesses and very hard to fight them off. Getting sick could lead to hospitalization or other serious complications.

We are so blessed to have so many friends and family members be so supportive and thoughtful, please understand that this post isn't meant to offend anyone or imply in any way that we don't completely appreciate all of the love, good wishes and acts of kindness that have been done on our behalf. Thanks for your understanding!

Yesterdays testing included some blood work, a renal clearance test and an ultrasound. The blood work turned out pretty good other than my creatinine level has gone up to 1.5 hence the reasoning for the other two tests. The renal clearance test results come back with a score anywhere from 1-60+. Anything under 20 means you need dialysis(ugh i hate that word) 20-40 is ok. 40-60 is the range they want me in and 60+ is great. Mine came back at 55, no problem there. The last test was the ultrasound to look for lots of different things that could be contributing to my increased creatinine level, blood flow, blocked ureter, etc. That came back showing a small pocket of fluid right on top of Paco that is probably compressing the kidney and causing it to not filter as well as it did. They think it is a result from the surgeries and should clear up on its own. So I was given the go ahead to come home as long as i keep resting. I have blood work again tomorrow. We wont get the results back as quickly as we did at Mayo but i will be sure to keep you posted. Have I mentioned how good it is to be home?

We're home!! Our house has never felt so big!! It feels so good.
I am exhausted, but just wanted to give an update!
Good night!

Woot Woot! Our flight leaves tonight at 8:30 and we should be back to Michigan around 10:30! I cant wait!!

We are very anxious to get home, it seems like we have been here forever. Hopefully we will be leaving wednesday night. They want me to do a few more tests before I leave b/c my creatinine level has been kinda wacky again so if those turn out ok, we get dismissed. If not i will have to stay even longer for them to figure out what is wrong :( Please keep that in your prayers.
I cant wait to be back home, sleep in my own bed and see familiar faces again.

I had such a sense of peace over me during those hours of waiting before surgery, I felt all of your prayers and could feel God's presence with us right in that pre-op room that day. While listening to my i-pod alone in the room after Mindy had been wheeled out God sent me a sign that everything was going to be ok. The first song that played lyrics said, "there will be a day with no more tears, no more pain and no more fears," Now I know that "day" is referring to the day we get to Heaven but for me right at that moment it was a promise that this was going to be the start of a new beginning. This transplant was going to be the end of so much heartache and the beginning of so much joy. He was there.

On that friday after surgery when I first heard the news that something was horribly wrong, and i needed to be rushed into surgery I panicked and thought, "are you kidding me God, why? why are you doing this?" I prayed and prayed that Paco would be ok and they would fix whatever was wrong. Again, while laying on the gurney waiting to be wheeled into surgery, I felt that same peace. My thoughts turned to this video that a friend had emailed me several days prior. I hadn't given it much thought until then but wow, what another great reminder. God wanted me there for some reason, I don't know what but that's ok, I just had to trust. So that's what I did, I trusted in Him that this was His plan for me, this is where I am supposed to be right here, right now. He was there.

"You were there, You were there during historys darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be the Risen Lamb of God" ~You Were There, Avalon

"With every breath I take in I'll tell you I'm grateful again. And the storm may swell even then it is well and You are good. So how can I thank You? And what can I bring? What can a poor man lay at the feet of a King?
So I'll sing you a love song. It's all that I have to tell You I'm grateful for holding my life in Your hands." ~ You are Good, Point of Grace

I cannot thank you all enough for being on your knees in prayer for me during this time. I am so glad that you all got to be a part of this story and I appreciate your continued prayers through the rest of it.

It's all about kidney transplants, which we thought was quiet a coincidence, but you know what is even weirder? Meridith dropped the kidney on the floor!! Remember this?



Anyways, it has been very interesting (and a little inaccurate) to watch. I wonder if the surgical team clapped when my kidney "pinked up" too?

Anybody watch it??

Have I won?
This has been a long road of suffering, I have been through a lot, the devastating loss of a child, life-threatening health issues, bad news after bad news. A familiar story of a faithful servant Job comes to mind, and reminds me that my struggles werent so bad and my journey through it not near as graceful as Job.
I have been reading a devotional book on Job and though i wish i read it earlier, it is still helpful to me and may be to some of you of there too.

"Job was a man who lived in Uz. He was honest inside and out, a man of his word, who was totally devoted to God and hated evil with a passion. He had seven sons and three daughters. He was also very wealthy—seven thousand head of sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred teams of oxen, five hundred donkeys, and a huge staff of servants—the most influential man in all the East!" Job 1:1-3 The Message
"Sometime later, while Job's children were having one of their parties at the home of the oldest son, a messenger came to Job and said, "The oxen were plowing and the donkeys grazing in the field next to us when Sabeans attacked. They stole the animals and killed the field hands. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened."
While he was still talking, another messenger arrived and said, "Bolts of lightning struck the sheep and the shepherds and fried them—burned them to a crisp. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened." While he was still talking, another messenger arrived and said, "Chaldeans coming from three directions raided the camels and massacred the camel drivers. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened."
While he was still talking, another messenger arrived and said, "Your children were having a party at the home of the oldest brother when a tornado swept in off the desert and struck the house. It collapsed on the young people and they died. I'm the only one to get out alive and tell you what happened." Job 1:15-19 The Message

I cant possibly imagine, in one day every single nightmare exploded into reality and hit him like a ton of bricks. All at once, Job's family and fortune was swept away. His job, his employees, his property, his income, his retirement and everything he worked so hard for...gone.
I know the pain of losing a child but can not fathom the agony of losing ten, all at once.
I often question God and why he would allow this to happen to one of His most faithful servants? Why didn't He protect Job? What was He thinking?
What I learned was that God had this whole journey of sorrow planned out for Job (and me) birthed out of an intriguing conversation He had with God.

"God said to Satan, "Have you noticed my friend Job? There's no one quite like him—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil."
Satan retorted, "So do you think Job does all that out of the sheer goodness of his heart? Why, no one ever had it so good! You pamper him like a pet, make sure nothing bad ever happens to him or his family or his possessions, bless everything he does—he can't lose!
"But what do you think would happen if you reached down and took away everything that is his? He'd curse you right to your face, that's what."
God replied, "We'll see. Go ahead—do what you want with all that is his. Just don't hurt him." Then Satan left the presence of God. " Job 1:8-12 The Message

The part that encourages me is how Job responded to all of this
" Job got to his feet, ripped his robe, shaved his head, then fell to the ground and worshiped: Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked I'll return to the womb of the earth.God gives, God takes. God's name be ever blessed.
Not once through all this did Job sin; not once did he blame God." Job 1-20-22

Yeah Job!! Well done! Crushed, broken and aching, Job STILL worshiped God.

Yeah God! Satan lost, God won!

So he just won the battle, he responded by worshiping God even through all his losses. Then Satan gears up for round two... health issues...sounding familiar? (although my response far less graceful)

"Then God said to Satan, "Have you noticed my friend Job? There's no one quite like him, is there—honest and true to his word, totally devoted to God and hating evil? He still has a firm grip on his integrity! You tried to trick me into destroying him, but it didn't work."
Satan answered, "A human would do anything to save his life. But what do you think would happen if you reached down and took away his health? He'd curse you to your face, that's what."
God said, "All right. Go ahead—you can do what you like with him. But mind you, don't kill him." Job 2- 3-6 The Message

Job's response to part 2:

His wife said, "Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!"
He told her, "You're talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?"
Not once through all this did Job sin. He said nothing against God." Job 2:9-10 The Message

Job STILL worshiped God! Job lost everything but refused to give up. God was worth it!

Yeah Job again, Satan lost again. God won again, and Satan was shut up!

There are forty more chapters in the book of Job and do you know how many times Satan was mentioned after the first to chapters?? NONE!!! ZIP!!! ZERO!!

Satan was defeated, I love it!!
Being reminded of this makes me think, have I won? Am I finally victorious? Did I beat Satan? Will he leave me alone now?

I hope and pray that this is it, but if not it will be my goal to praise him in the storm, to fight the good fight and keep the faith!! Just like Job.

Thank you all so much for the cards, flowers and gift packages. I dont think this hotel has ever seen so much mail for one girl!! One day i got 18 cards!! It is definitely helping with the homesickness to hear from friends and family.

We appreciate your thoughtfulness so much, you sure know how to make a girl feel loved!!

Miss you all!!

I am still here, thanks for being concerned. I have a new post brewing in my mind for the past few days, but i want to make sure it is just right so i am still thinking and praying for the right words and for the Lord's message to shine thru!
So keep checking in!

Just a quick update cuz i feel bad i left you hanging: Robb's parents arrived here on wednesday night and have been keeping us company and making sure we have everything we need. i have been going in bright and early every morning for blood work and then have an appointment with the doctor everyday. they sure are keeping an eye on me! Everything is going great, paco is still kicking toxin butt, my creatnine level is 1.2 down from 12? the day of surgery! Woot! They are very pleased with that, on the high side of normal range but the low side of transplanted range!!
Still working on getting the right dosing for all my meds figured out and dealing with some less than pleasant side effects. My pain is manageable, the incision is healing up nicely.

hmm...anything i am forgetting? any questions? just ask!!

Today has been a very bittersweet day for us for obvious reasons. Despite the fact that i was in the hospital most of the day our hearts would have be heavy none the less. Last year on today's date was the first day little brenham came to be. What a miracle he is! We miss you baby love!

Today is our three year anniversary, and what a great three years that has been!!! I am so lucky to be married to such a great man! God has truly blessed our marriage and we look forward to many more blessing He has yet to bring!!
However, this is not the most romantic way to spend our anniversary but there is no where else i would rather be. I know for sure that if it wasnt for robb i would not be sitting here in this hospital bed with Paco right now. He has done so much to get this transplant for me and i would be nowhere in the process without him! Thanks love!

yesterday is gone!

Feeling pretty good, i cut back on some pain pills that made me feel groggy so my pain level has been creeping up but its tolerable. i got up for another long walk with mindy (she is doing great!)

and even put a face on today that alone can make a girl feel better!




Please be praying for my blood pressure to be where it should be, its been going crazy lately.

(this is a pic from one of my appts on tues but i just wanted to add a "good" pic of me in here and it kinda relates so there!



Good news is... my creatnine level is all the way down to 1.4, Paco kicks butt!! and still a peeing machine!! BTW, for all of you non-facebookers, you are probably wondering who Paco is! Paco is what me and Mindy named my/her kidney while we were in the pre-op room , trying to pass the time before surgery started. Something written on the wall made me think of "Paco" and i just kinda liked it and it stuck. We wanted a boy name cuz kidneys aren't very cutsie like girls are!!!!

I'm ready to go "home" aka the hotel, hospitals are no fun. i am so bored!

I've been very tired and blah feeling most of the day today. I only ended up getting 1 unit of blood which did help my fatigue for awhile but then my pain pills make me groggy again.
I got to take a shower today, which took forever with all these tubes hooked up so i think i over exerted myself and got really dizzy and was so close to passing out the nurse had to practically slap me around to keep me awake. Then i got sick and have been sleeping ever since.
And i still have to get a little walk in today sometime. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

My doctor just left my room after telling me my hemoglobin dropped even more to a 6.7. So he is insisting that i get a blood transfusion, but he assured me that it will do no harm to me or the kidney. I just have it etched in my brain that blood transfusions equals antibodies, but it should be okay. I agreed that i should get one, my vision is getting blurry, i am a little shaky, and have a fast heartbeat that i can hear pounding during the night!
i now have 7 pints of other people's blood in me and someone elses kidney in me, weird, But thank the Lord people have extras to give to me!
Have a happy Sunday!

Today was a good day, i got up for a walk and sat up in a chair for awhile.
Things are still looking good, made lots of urine today! Yeah for pee-pee!!
My hemoglobin is down to a seven and they would like it to be between a 12-15 so they mentioned a blood transfusion but i kinda said lets wait and see what happens since i have been all the way down to a five before.So please be praying for that. No side effects as of yet from all the new medications, that is a great blessing. I really appreciate all of your prayers for me, you all are so great, i feel so loved and cared about!

First of all thank you so so much for your prayers for me, God certainly has me in the palm of His hands, things could have gotten very bad but luckily turned out ok. Thank you so much!!

Let me tell you a little bit about my little sister. Let's see since we got the transplant on 10/8 i will tell you 18 things about her(10+8=18)
1. She is 21 years old
2. She does all the office work for my dads business
3. She loves her job and always makes sure it's being done correctly
4. She is silly and sarcastic
5. She is loving and caring
6. Mindy loves Taco Bell and Crazy Horse Restaurant
7. She is married to Kyle
8. They got married on December 14, 2007
9. She only has 1 kidney :)
10. Mindy and Kyle have a new doggie, Dawson
11. She loves her family more than anyone i know :)
12. When she was in 3rd grade she got hit by a truck when we were getting off the school bus (I saw it all happen and took good care of her)
13. she broke a bone in her butt.
14. She got me addicted to One Tree Hill, her favorite show.
15. She laughs when she cries and cries when she laughs
16. She loves Jesus.
17. She saved some one's life.
18. She is a great sister!

I'm glad to report that Katie is doing great. She is back from recovery and has been in her normal room for most of the afternoon. She still does have pain and is tired which is to be expected. She seems to be in great spirits and has her sense of humor back. The doctors are not exactly sure what happened. The only thing they think is that she was not getting enough fluid. This may be a result of her being on PD dialysis which can absorb some of the fluid before it can get to wherever it is suppose to go. (I am definitely not a doctor) Since the surgery she is back to being a urine making machine. I have never in my life been so glad to look at pee:)

Needless to say it has been a roller coaster of a day. I decided to sleep at the hotel last night b/c I didn't sleep well in the chair the night before. I was woke up at 6:00 with a phone call. I didn't get it in time and it went to voice mail. I quickly answered and it was Katie saying that she hoped that I was on my way because she was going to the OR soon. (Wost phone call that I have ever received) I couldn't call back to the number so I got dressed and ran to the hospital. And the rest is history.

Mindy is recovering nicely and is expected to get out of the hospital sometime tomorrow.

God definitely is at work in some mysterious ways, but his presence has definitely been felt through this whole ordeal. Please continue to be prayer warriors. I know that the devil has tried his best to break us but we will not be moved!!!! GLORY BE TO GOD!!!!!

The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)

Katie went into surgery this morning 7:17 to figure out why her kidney and bladder were not putting out urine. She finished surgery at 10:10. The Dr. is not sure what happened but told us that everything looks good and that the kidney is still functioning properly. She was just brought back to her room and I am waiting to be able to see her again. Thanks for all of the prayers and I will update later today with a follow up after I see her.

**update**
please pray, urine has stopped and i am very uncomfortable and scared that something is wrong. drs are tring to figure it out but not as quickly as i'd like.
~going in for surgery asap. please pray.

Hey Everyone, Katie here! Its good to be back. Its hard to type with all these tubes coming out of my hands so this will be quick, but i just wanted to let everybody know that things are going really well. i got out of bed earlier today and sat up in the chair for a bit, that felt so nice~My pain is mostly in my lower back and incision area(which i hear is small!) Mindy is quite sore as well, please pray for my brave little sister as she tries to recover so she can go home hopefully tomorrow! I saw her briefly this afternoon, she came for a wheelchair ride so i was glad to see her! Thanks so lot for all of your comments and emails, i love to read them. they are so encouraging! Send Mindy your messages at kyleandmindy@hotmail.com!

Katie and Mindy are doing great!!!
The Doctor came in and told us that the surgery went wonderfully. Katie's new kidney is working great and producing urine like crazy. The doctor and nurses seem to be very pleased. Katie is still pretty sedated but I have talked with her and she is doing well. They gave her a hand held sort of push button remote that she can push for additional pain medication. (Drugs on Demand:) They have told us that it may be a rough night trying to sleep with the pain and monitoring. Please pray that she can sleep well. She is doing a great job at that right now as I'm watching her sleep while I type. Anyway I thought that you would like to know a funny story about Katie. Seeing that she is sleeping I have some time. If you know Katie you know that she has to be the most like able person alive. Always happy and smiling even when she isn't feeling that way inside. Also she is got to be one of the toughest people I know physically and mentally. For example yesterday at one of our many appointments we were meeting with the surgeon. This would to most people be a scary and serious conversation. When the surgeon was done explaining what was going to happen he asked if we had any questions. Katie said "yea I was wondering what happens if you drop the kidney when you are carrying it from Mindy to me?" What a great question to lighten the mood. By the way if you are wondering the kidney would be ok they just have to clean it and sterilize it if this would happen. So that is about it for now. Tomorrow they are planning on having Katie get up and walk two to three times throughout the day. Maybe she will be back in blogging form sometime tomorrow. (she is a little better at doing this than I am)

Mindy and Katie are both out of surgery!!!!!
We just saw Mindy in the recovery room and she is doing good. I won't be able to see Katie for 2 more hours because they have to monitor her in the recovery room. The surgeon talked to us and said that everything went great. The kidney started functioning right away. I can't wait to see her. Thank you God for all that you have brought both Mindy and Katie through today. I will post later after I get to see Katie.

Though I would post a very fitting song at the current time from the movie "Fireproof"

Artist John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painfulBut patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waitingI will serve You
While I'm waitingI will worship
While I'm waitingI will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waitingI'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will waitYes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Link to the video from the movie at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3b2jw1rjBc

Mindy's surgeon just came to see us and said that Mindy's surgery went very well. She will be in recovery for a few hours and then we will be able to see her. Praise God!!! Now the kidney will be prepped, and Katie's surgeon will begin to put it into Katie.

The nurse communicator has told us that Mindy 's surgery started 8:26am. Katie's surgery started at 8:45am. This is central time. Please keep praying for them especially right now. Mindy's surgery will take about 3hrs and Katie's about 4 hrs. I think that this will be the longest hours of my life. I will post again when I hear an update from the communicator.

that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!!

Here we go, thank you all for you prayers over the next few hours, days and weeks!! And also for the past hours, days, weeks and months!
I cant wait to update with good news!

Love you all, wish us luck, or better yet...PRAY!!

We had a busy day full of appointments and meetings today, but everything went well. We are ready to go. We are both starting to get a little anxious but overall we are both doing well.
Surgery is at 8:00 am but we have to be at the hospital at 5:30.
Please be praying for a good nights rest, our nerves and for everything to go smoothly!
Robb will be posting the updates for the next couple days.
Thanks in advance for your emails and comments we look forward to reading them when we wake up from surgery!

~Katie and Mindy

Pacey wanted to come in my suitcase!

Is something I hate, especially when it has to be for so long. I just got back from the cemetery trying to fit 3 weeks worth of visits into one. So now i am sad and fighting back the tears.
It was also time to wash the brenhams hospital blanket that i sleep with every night. I havent washed it until today (i know, i know thats gross, but it has "him" on it, he was wrapped up in it the whole time at the hospital). I begged robb to let me leave it the way it was but he insisted it be washed before we leave for mayo. Deep down i know i had to do it, for my own health but it is so hard. now everyone thinks i am crazy huh?
Three weeks is a long time to be gone from home. i am trying to savor every last minute of being in my home and playing with my puppy.
I am going to miss it all. Please pray that this time goes fast!

We were planning on flying out early tomorrow morning but b/c of some predicted rain in the forecast for tomorrow we are leaving tonight at 7:00 instead. We are being flown my a very generous man robb does some work with which is so great. After transplant i have to be extremely careful not to get sick so a commercial flight made me nervous about that, all the germs and everything, and plus we can get there in 1.5 hours and no layovers or anything. I am nervous though, i am not big on flying, good thing its a short flight.
Please be praying that all the last minute details fall into place and for safe travel. I will post when we get to our hotel!

Last night Robb and I went out to celebrate our anniversary (its not until the 14th) early since we will be at Mayo during the real day. We are so glad we took a few hours out of our busy weekend to do that.
We had dinner and went to see the movie "Fireproof" it was so good and we both left with a promise to each other to be a better spouse. It was life changing. You must go see it!

I cant wait to get my transplant
I cant wait to get my ports taken out
I cant wait to burn everything that has to do with kidneys and dialysis
I cant wait to get rid of everythihg that remids me of this awful time
I cant wait to talk to people about something other than kidneys
I cant wait for this blog to turn back to brenham stuff, the way i intended it.
I cant wait to have my energy back
I cant wait to be free
I cant wait to move on with my life!

Let's Go!!

I am getting my transplant in 7 days!!!

I am so excited!

A few prayer requests:

Obviously that the surgery goes well and the kidney takes well right away
For a quick and painless (i know i am dreaming) recovery
For Mindy's surgery to go well and for a quick and painless recovery for her too
Mindy has come down with a little cold, please pray that she feels better SOON!
That I dont come down with anything.
For our families
For our nerves
For safe travel
For everything to come together quickly in terms of travel and lodging accommodations.
That i will get everything done that needs to be before we leave, my list is long and keeps growing!
And most importantly prayers of praise and thanksgiving to our wonderful Maker for this amazing blessing of a new life for me!

~Thank you all SO MUCH for all of your prayers and support during this crazy journey. I wouldnt be where i am at today if it wasnt for all of you, i feel very blessed!

She's APPROVED!!!

I am getting my new kidney on the 8th!!! Whoo-hoo!!

Can you believe it??

God is so good!

The woman who made my new blog design is offering a contest for a free blog design. If you would like to enter leave a comment on her blog about what you like about my blog makeover and you will be entered to win! You have until the 3rd to enter and the winner will be drawn on the 4th. Good Luck!!
Also if you dont win she is offering a great deal on makeovers for the month of October. $40 plus the cost of the digital kit (usually between $3-$8)!
Cant wait to see all of your new layouts!!